Matt Whistler and a man who thinks he’s a train

Somewhere in the middle of walking between the two piers, pogo sticking outside a gallery and hanging a painting out to dry on a washing line, I had a realisation for a sketch.

It’s a man who thinks he’s a train and just runs everywhere with his arms out, while approaching people saying; “Toot, toot”.

Every now and then he stops off to buy a piece of coal for his breakfast and then runs like a freak on the spot and gets fired up on all cylinders. The steam that comes out of the back of his head is set up via a wallpaper steamer purchased from B&Q.

He acts as if in competition with the Volks Railway, but charges half the amount, to pull people along in a trolley, while racing the Volks train. What would he wear? Hmm, let me think now.

Okay, got it! He would look like a Swiss mountain horn player, with round John Lennon specs and a pheasant feather sticking out of his hat. Mind you though, at this current rate he may need a plastic bag on his head and a canoe to travel through town. But we don’t need reminding about that, just buy a sun lamp and always have a palm tree in your pocket.