7 Days of Headlines with Phil Mills

A post medieval fake nose, Steve Coogan found not guilty and the starlings are a top attraction


Whether it’s Mr and Mrs Blobby rescuing gas victims, a fake nose being listed as a national treasure or a pair of missing knickers turning up in the post, this week’s headlines prove there really is a silly season.

Let’s go straight to the Blobby story and fess up that it wasn’t actually a pair of Noel Edmonds sidekicks doing the rescuing but two firefighters dressed in all-over chemical suits during an emergency exercise at the University of Brighton’s new £23m Huxley science building.

The fake nose story, however, is nothing to sneeze at – the post medieval bronze nose, made for a man of means who, the experts reckon, lost his real bugle to syphilis, was unearthed near Lewes by Brighton Metal Detecting Club member Ray Wilson. A panel of archaeologists have listed it as among the 50 most important finds of the past 15 years.

And remember how, in an earlier column, a Brighton woman told how she’d ordered a pair of knickers to support Mary Portas’s attempts to revive Britain’s lace manufacturing industry, as shown in a TV documentary. The Latest 7 reader ordered the pants in March and she emailed this week to say they’ve just arrived in the post – four months later. The knickers cost £10 and the delivery (through Libertys) was an extra £5. She said: “I could have made them myself quicker – and for a lot less money.”

Meanwhile, Heather Mills, Paul McCartney’s ex who runs a restaurant in Hove, made the news when she turned up at a reception in Austria with her good leg (she lost the lower part of her left leg in an accident) in a cast. And staying with celebs, Sussex-based Steve Coogan was found not guilty of speeding when Brighton magistrates were told that his friend – not Steve – was behind the wheel at the time.

Brighton’s famous annual swarm of starlings – called a murmuration – has been listed by the news organisation CNN among the world’s top 27 things and places to see.

Former Olympic hurdles champion Sally Gunnell joined 10,000 people at Hove Cricket Ground as the Olympic torch arrived. More than 20 local people were picked to carry the flame through the city.

Brighton seafront was closed in both directions after a serious crash in the early hours. A 29-year-old woman suffered serious head injuries in the crash. Police were looking for a dark-coloured vehicle and appealed for witnesses.
Ten people were arrested – mainly for obstructing the highway – when protesters rallied against a Brighton factory they say makes parts for weapons.
The city council, police and fire service visited Dorothy Stringer School to deliver a reminder to young people about the dangers of being distracted on or whilst crossing the city’s roads as the summer holidays begin. The consequences of having an accident were demonstrated when rescuers cut a ‘casualty’, deputy head Sue Middleton, out of a car.

Lastly, what a load of rubbish: Community composting is proving a hit with residents near Dyke Road Park. The scheme, run by the council, Friends of Dyke Road Park and the Food Partnership, has already attracted 25 households keen to compost their uncooked vegetable peelings, tea bags, coffee grounds and cardboard. The city’s first community composting scheme opened earlier this year in the North Laine area and Palmeira Square, and other schemes are due to open at Bevendean Community Garden and Wish Park/Aldrington Recreation Ground.



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