X hits the spot

Already the tabloids have stirred up plenty of ink in readiness for their weekend editions, with last weekend’s probably already chock full of X Factor judge in-fighting, rumoured pregnancies and contestant fixes. The programme that, for some reason, creates the news as well as creating a Saturday night fixture (and usually a Christmas Number One) returned to our screens and the roar of approval was palpable.

With JLS and Little Mix playing at Brighton & Hove Cricket Ground this weekend you can even get your X Factor fix delivered if you need a smidge more investment through the tear duct-poking and ridicule-running audition phase. Although for many, this is the best bit. Will there be another Frankie Cocozza baring his behind, or perhaps half a dozen pretenders hoping that the tattoo ink on their posteriors might just compensate for the lack of singing lessons? Or maybe some hopeful electrician is working on an outfit to rival Kitty Brucknell’s from last year. The thing that we’re really after – and hopefully the judges are too – is a little bit of originality. Or at least something that still sounds a bit like whoever’s topping the charts right now.

Therein lies the problem. 2011’s Johnny Robinson had a fabulous voice, but didn’t quite fit the mould. A bit too much of an impressive soprano. No one can forget the impact of Wagner in 2010, or of Rhydian in 2007 (at least he got an album deal out of it), and yet none of them won the fatted calf. Should this mean that the X Factor is clearer in what kind of voice qualifies as a ‘winner’? Is it really fair to keep passing these fabulous singers to the next round knowing full well they don’t fit the ‘type’?

We all sort of know that these guys are likely to be shed by the time the final comes around, but maybe that’s more of a comment on the British public’s voting rather than the format of the show itself. The judges keep putting them through, but then give them novelty songs to sing, clearly not knowing how best to proceed with such a break from the norm. Maybe we should have a judge specifically for this type of singer who knows what they’re doing. But then, how much can Nicole Scherzinger actually know about managing any kind of artist when she’s been managed to within an inch of her tinted foundation herself?
Alright, maybe too many questions and not enough answers.

The X Factor is a remarkable beast, and after Simon Cowell’s massive fail with its US incarnation last year you can bet he won’t be taking quite so much for granted this time around. This media machine will be well-oiled and raring to go from the off, with the already mentioned new judge Nicole already having proven her worth as a guest judge in the UK and co-host in the US. I can’t wait to see who rises to the surface and whether they might be the next Leona or even a bit of a Jedward.

It’s a guilty pleasure that has become so much of a pleasure nobody bothers to feel guilty anymore. Water cooler moments and Twitter nourishment (I’m sure there were some I missed in Xtra Factor too), this has become a season marker more than the changing of the colours of the leaves or the flying of the ducks South. My winter duvet will be coming out when the live programmes begin. And this weekend we’ll all enjoy the last of the sunshine and the first of the bum notes. Cheers.
The X Factor, ITV1, Saturdays