Jungle fever

Don’t swear and don’t lose your temper.
These were the simple instructions former inhabitant of the celebrity jungle and comedian Joe Pasquale was given by his agent after he’d been talked into signing up for I’m A Celebrity…. Joe went on to follow these easy rules and won the whole shebang, giving his career a shot in the arm and bringing his style of humour to a whole new generation, opening up work and advertising campaign possibilities galore. It’s almost become tradition now that as soon as you take that crown off in the tropics to head straight for the deep freeze and replace it with a prawn crown for the Iceland Christmas ads. It kind of makes me wonder where television shows end and auditions for adverts begin, naming no names Kerry Katona, Stacey Solomon, Jason Donovan et al. And there’s got to be more to promoting your talented career of choice than eating a kangaroo’s bum. I really hope so.

“profile-grabbing experience filled with shrieks and devoid of dignity”

And so the question stands, why do these celebrities take part, if not for the thinly veiled kickstart to a faltering livelihood? Dom Joly said he did it for the experience which, considering his new profession is going into war zones as a tourist, could actually be the truth – but you’d hardly expect that to be the case for the requisite footballers’ ex-girlfriend (no, that apostrophe is more than likely to be in the right place, and I haven’t had a sneak peek at this year’s line-up). Yes, in the early years I’m A Celebrity… span off not only entire reality series but also a wedding, not to mention book tours and boosted record sales of back catalogues. But do these celebrities – or more likely, the agents that talk them into it – really still think there’s an outside chance that this profile-grabbing experience filled with shrieks and devoid of much dignity will be their turning point? Maybe.

Joe Pasquale’s agent did have a point. There is so much potential in the jungle for embarrassment that, to be honest, if you just keep your cool and behave… I don’t know… nicely, you’re in with a chance of being the nation’s darling for the next seven days before the new season of Dancing On Ice begins.

Everyone demands to be televised, but not everyone is aware which side might be their best – physically and emotionally. So if you’re a little bit savvy about things you could emerge triumphant. Even if it is minus a great wallop of privacy. Anyone remember Sue Perkin’s outing in the jungle? Just saying, nothing is sacred and it might just change a celebrity’s life in a way they hadn’t quite planned. Good luck all!
I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here!, ITV1, soon