Hove Factually

Five facts you never knew about fantabulous Hove

1 Both the 1967 Alfred Hitchcock thriller Indiscretion and the 1974 Oscar-nominated John Cassavetes cinema verite classic Marriages contain a scene in which the lead character makes love on Hove’s famous floral clock.

2 A surprising number of Wild West heroes and outlaws (including Frank and Jesse James, Wild Bill Hickok, Wyatt Earp, and John Henry ‘Doc’ Holliday) were born on Blatchington Road.

3 To ‘go to Hove’ is old sailor slang meaning ‘to die’, as referenced by the 1969 Rolling Stones song ‘Tied In Your Knot’: “Little Sammi Blister lived in Ladbroke Grove/Did too much talkin’ now he’s gone to Hove.”

4 The first ever ‘dress down Friday’ took place at Meade, Bromsgrove & Murray, a Hove solicitors on Friday 4th April 1823, when the clerks were granted special dispensation to come to work wearing bowler hats instead of top hats.

5 Vocalist Till Linderman, guitarist Richard Z. Kruspe, and bassist Oliver Riedel of German Industrial Metal Band Rammstein all live in Hove. Drummer Christoph ‘Doom’ Schneider lives in Aldrington.

Edward De Bonehead’s Lateral Thinking Puzzles

NO. 4 – THE LETTER
A man receives a letter from his twin brother. When he opens it, though it contains only a blank sheet of paper, the man removes his clothes and jumps out of the 15th storey window to his death. At exactly the same moment the brother, who lives in Peking, wins £7 million on the lottery. Why?

SOLUTION TO LAST WEEK’S PUZZLE

The donkey was allergic to eggs.

OLYMPIC FEVER
Yes, it’s been almost a week with no mention in the press of the Olympics or the Paralympics, and by that we mean the ones in London that have just gone by this summer in case you missed them. So we here at Bare Cheek have decided to scrub out this stain on our national character by listing our five favourite things about said Olympics/Paralympics that happened in London over the summer. So without further ado, on your marks, get set……go!

That human cyst George Osbourne getting booed at the Paralympics, especially the moment when he giggled ‘cos he thought it was humourously-intended then went ashen as he realised it was in deadly earnest. That alone was worth the 11 billion nicker cost of staging it.

David Beckham’s overt, childish strop at not being picked for the Olympic soccer team, only exacerbated by his risible ‘Three Musketeers’ facial hair.

Them Chinese badminton players who got disqualified for throwing a match, when, in fact, they should have been awarded extra points for tactical thinking.

The moment we saw the word ‘Bolt’ trending on Twitter, and quickly switched on the telly thinking it meant the 2008 Disney animated film, which is dead good.
The fact that the Paralympics opening ceremony was about three million times better than the Olympics opening ceremony, despite costing a fraction of the money. And they say that they should give Danny Boyle a knighthood! A knighthood! They should chop his bleeding head off. What you want is; Queen gives a speech, blast of classical music, someone lights the torch – job done. Not blathering on about the First World War to the strains of Underworld for an hour and sodding three quarters. Jesus! As you were.