Christmas and New Year television

Traditionally, there are several markers over the Crimbo and New Year’s viewing on which you could bet your hard fought-over turkey leg will be in place. Whose big band will see in the New Year? Jools Holland’s of course! What will Grandma insist on watching but most likely fall asleep of in front after Christmas Lunch? The Queen’s Speech, you numbskull! And what will the cousins nip upstairs to watch instead of helping with the washing up? The Alternative Queen’s Speech – have you not been paying attention? And it is over this bare evergreen tree of programming that the rest of the season’s ‘special’ viewings are adorned. Really, they are very sparkly.

“You can smell the medieval mulled wine…”

Bringing a warm glow of its very own is a very festive QI Jingle Bells, with Stephen Fry and Alan Davies joined by Phill Jupitus, Sarah Millican and Danny Baker. You can smell the medieval mulled wine recipe just thinking about it.

For further tasty treats there’s the warm naughty glow that is Nigella. Nigellissima: An Italian Inspired Christmas is bound to be set to pile on the pounds with just a glimpse at the proposed menu. Such a relief to know that calories consumed at Christmas, on holiday and at a family gathering don’t count. Pass the chocolate roulade.

ITV hasn’t been left out either and have returned to that old favourite: the panto. Starring and written by John Bishop, Panto! also stars Sheridan Smith, Samantha Spiro, Mark Benton and – believe it or not – Chesney Hawkes! It’s a drama comedy and co-written with playwright Jonathan Harvey.

Also new to the schedule is Ade’s Christmas Cracker, with an assortment of ways Adrian Edmondson has found to entertain you. Alright, I haven’t a clue what’s in it, but it is new and that’s always a bonus.

Old favourites are of course returning, without feeling staid or too predictable. Doctor Who is battling against rather dastardly-looking snowmen and meeting his new assistant Clara, played by Jenna-Louise Coleman. It’s all looking rather Victorian (as is correct with contemporary Christmas Doctor Who it would seem) and Richard E Grant is doing a very good scowly face.

The fairy on the top of this particular metaphorical tree in 2012, for many, will be a brand new Royle Family Christmas Special. It’s a favourite and with an underabundance of appearances really does add that Chocywoccydoodah/Hotel Chocolat/ Montezumas/Arctic roll/’insert your own seasonal sweet surprise’ unexpected treat luxury we always want to round off proceedings.

There are plenty of appointment programmes to make a date with, but equally there are loads to catch by accident with a browse of the TV menu. Just remember to share. Your chocolates and the remote control.

Christmas and New Year television on all channels at varying times.