Andrew Kay: The price of everything

It never rains but it pours. In a week that could not be busier the world starting falling in on me – quite literally. It started on Sunday. I was having a rare lie in, not sleeping but reading in bed as it was the warmest place to be. The phone rang at just after 9am and it was mum. She often calls earlier but she was staying with my brother and his family and they are not known for their early starts.

She started to talk: “Hello love, Is there anything you would particularly like as we are writing my will?” It caught me off guard. I have been trying to get Mum to write a will for years and with no success. She went on, offering me a variety of bits and pieces, all well intentioned I’m sure, but all coming out of the blue. I felt stunned and said that I would call back when I was up, showered, dressed and fully awake.

An hour later I called back and got my brother who said that mum was in the shower. I took the opportunity to say how cross I was to be confronted with this situation with no warning, that it was unfair and insensitive. He slammed the phone down on me.
Mum has a house full of stuff, mostly of very little real value beyond fond memories and in truth I prefer real memories to token items of nostalgia. There’s a lovely old coal scuttle, but who needs a coal scuttle these days?

Mr R calmed me down with tea and biscuits before setting off for the gym and I silently fumed at what had happened, staring blankly at the window and then up at the ceiling…

Yes, the ceiling that had a crack in it which was growing by the moment. The agents who look after our flat had already inspected it and we were waiting for the builders to come the following day. All I had to do was move anything precious out of the way so they could deal with the problem.

The next day I was sat at my desk when the phone rang and I was summoned home. I jumped on a bus, then another, and when I arrived there was a strange atmosphere as I watched dusty builders working like ants to remove sack after sack of rubble. One after another they came up the steps, covered in dust and looking like a scene from a movie about the Blitz. It was not a good sight and my heart started to sink. The good guys at The Property Shop called my mobile, hoping to reach me before I saw how bad things really were and to sort out alternative accommodation.

Things were bad. The ceiling might have come down at any time but when it did there was tons of debris, so much so that I was in no doubt that had we been home when it happened, watching Coronation Street as I do, we would have been very seriously injured – if not killed. It was a chilling thought and one that started to shuffle things into place.

Moving precious objects seemed so important the day before, now it seemed like a worthless task. Within less than 48 hours I had come to realise that what is most important in life is not what we gather around us but who. Had the paintings and pots been destroyed they could be replaced with similar things, their value being, at the end of the day, only monetary. What I could never replace would be Mr R, what I will never replace will be Mum and our friends.

“There is no time for sitting back and saying no, seize the day and share it with those who matter”

With Dad passing away so recently my thoughts often turn to our mortality and I have resigned myself to a few facts.
Whether I have five years or 40, I need to live every day as if it could be my last. There is no time for sitting back and saying no, seize the day and share it with those who matter.

People ask me why I take on so much. It’s always been the same, I am scared of saying no and missing out on what could be something great. And if it’s not great – well, then at least I gave it a go.

I don’t want anything in a will, I have nephews that need to be educated so sell the lot and give them what they need for when it happens – as I know it one day will.

Right now all I really need is Mr R, Mum and my wonderful friends. I don’t need to know the price of everything but I do need to understand the value.