Christina Toimela on being truly authentic and helping others

I interviewed Nathan Roberts in a hotel lounge in Brighton after he had been part of arranging an evening of entertainment at The Thistle Hotel in aid of A Band Of Brothers, a Brighton-based charity for young men facing difficulties. The charity aims to raise awareness of the fact that, whilst 16-24 million people are unemployed, it’s hard to find companies who are willing to give a young troubled man a start. Nathan has been on the project since 2005 and is the Chief Executive of A Band Of Brothers as well as a freelance consultant. All of the charity volunteers are inspirational.

“To be yourself in a world that is trying to turn you into everybody else is the hardest battle you will ever fight”

Nathan is passionate about creating places for people to discover themselves and to be themselves: “To be truly yourself in a world that is trying day and night to turn you into everybody else is the hardest battle you will ever fight.”

Nathan knows what he is talking about. In Yorkshire he followed his businessman father’s footsteps and started his career in a Blue chip IT-company. He hated every minute of his work and chose to get off the corporate ladder. He explains that it takes a long time to support someone to be true to themselves. He has learnt that connecting the heart to the consciousness makes the process quicker. Through that consciousness, people go and do good things, not just for themselves but also in order to serve others. After having moved into charity in order to find integrity Nathan found that focusing on this goal was not just benefitting himself but also others.

How can a successful, middle class, ex-IT man help men with limited financial means to be true to themselves and find a job? According to Nathan the key is in being truly authentic, avoiding judging, being open and vulnerable enough in order to show these men that you listen.

Nathan battled youth aggression and depression and found the piece that was missing in him; being part of a solution, making a better community by co-operating with other men. He had previously seen fellow males as a threat or competition and realised that this belief had been harmful to his relationships. According to Nathan, men don’t volunteer much outside sport and women are much stronger in building community. A Band Of Brothers brings men from backgrounds as diverse as a gardener to a chief executive of an oil company together, wanting to involve everyone in the community because pushing people away makes them even more resentful: “Feral youth need love not to go and do bad stuff again.”

Nathan’s message to a troubled man is: “It’s never too late to be the man you want to be.” And to people who want to help: “You can be a gift to someone in your community.”

To support the work of A Band Of Brothers or to find out more visit www.abandofbrothers.org.uk or follow them on twitter @band_brothersuk

Do you know any people who have really inspired you in Brighton?
We’re not looking for celebrities. Not ordinary, but extraordinary.
Contact Christina: christina.toimela@gmail.com