Vanessa Austin Locke: Breaking up with your bank

Apparently you’re more likely to get divorced twice in your lifetime than you are to change your bank. Which means that Royal and I have some serious marital issues. He stands me up, lets me down, lies and breaks promises. I’ve thought about leaving for a long time. At first I was afraid, I was petrified. How would I survive without him?

“I even sent an ultimatum: ‘If you don’t call me back by the end of the day I’m leaving’”

I called, I said I was unhappy, I even sent an ultimatum… “If you don’t call me back by the end of the day I’m leaving.” I sat by the phone all afternoon waiting for him to call. The call never came. From out of my window I could see that big black stallion Lloyd. He’s right there, he’s open on Saturdays, and I always did love horses. That sign… it had to be a sign. With tears in my eyes I took one last look at the final letter Royal ever sent me telling me I couldn’t change my address by post, phone or online so all my mail would continue to go to my old address. Then, I left a note on his dresser, and my old wedding ring, with these few goodbye words:

Dear Royal,
Once upon a time you dressed so fine, threw the bums a dime in your prime, didn’t you? And I know things have been tough lately, I know business is bad and you’re stressed and tired, well you’re not the only one. It’s been a long, long time coming, but I know that a change is gonna come. The thing is, I’m your boss, not the other way round. Your systems seem so complex that even your staff can’t access them. And when I come in, only to be met by a youth whose sub-text screams, “I’d be smoking weed and watching porn if it wasn’t for you”, well it makes me think that we are all just prisoners here, of our own device.

You see… All I’m asking is for a little respect. I don’t want you to buy me off with gifts when I make a complaint, I want you to call me, talk to me like a human being and fix the problem. That’s all. Did I ask too much? More than a lot? You gave me nothing now it’s all that I’ve got. I really have looked for the reasons we were together in the first place… I found it hard, it’s hard to find, oh well, whatever, nevermind. I’ll find someone like you.

You’re not even trying that hard not to show it, and baby, believe me I know it… you’ve lost that loving feeling. It’s okay, you don’t have to worry about me. I’m stronger than yesterday, now it’s nothing but my way, I thought that I’d be broke without you but I’m richer. You were my guy when stocks were high but just look what happens when they start to descend. A girl needs someone she can trust handling her best friends. I guess what I’m trying to say is, it’s not me, it’s you.