Brighton Comedy Festival: Ode To Brighton by Marcel Lucont

In town for the Brighton Comedy Festival, we asked French wit Marcel Lucont what he thought about Brighton. And he sent us a poem!


ODE TO BRIGHTON by Marcel Lucont

Brighton, my dear, as I stare from your pier
Across at civilisation,
A bright-coloured brood, wholly pierced and tattooed,
Linger languorously round your station.

While men skateboard into their thirties,
Their trousers descend past their hips,
Passing seafront cafés, whose culinary ways
Have fish deep-fried and flopped onto chips.

Your arcadian Laines, largely free from the chains
Of the average high street of Britain
Cater more for the twee, seeking out pot pourri,
Or some items with owls on, or mittens.

But oh, what a transformation at night,
When the dark, more than physically, engulfs the light
Those frequent pre-nuptual parties you house
When hens evolve to shrieking cows
And colourful backstreet shop fronts display
Such colourful vomit the following day,
Creating a volatile footpath abeyance
For mothers displaying their new spawn’s conveyance.

Brighton, right-on to the end,
Wishing all to be your friend,
Such downright positivity
Is all a little much for me,

Whose permanently pebbled beach
Would bruise even the pertest peach,
For sun-filled shores, where sand is pure,
You’ll find me at the Côte d’Azur.

Marcel Lucont Live, Brighton Dome Studio, Wednesday 16 October, 7.45pm, £13/11, 01273 709709, www.brightoncomedyfestival.com