COMEDY: Daniel Sloss: Stand Up

The Scottish comic is back talking with Victoria Nangle about his “best ever” show, Jaden Smith and Xbox

How are you today?

“Good, er… kind of hungover. We’ve just been for a Nando’s. I just sat down and got angry at Jaden Smith.”

How come?

“It’s just… Will Smith has got really s***** testicles. I don’t know if you follow Jaden Smith on Twitter, but the kid’s weird. You saw him on that Graham Norton Show. Like, Will Smith is amazing, and he’s just managed to produce such s***** kids. It’s really good to know that he has a flaw… because up until now he’s just been this perfect, nice, charitable, happy man.”

How would you describe the new show you’re touring?

“Oh, f****** awesome [laughs]. It’s the the best show I’ve ever done. One that I can be genuinely proud of. And it’s not through hard work or anything, y’know? Mind you, I say this every year. It’s fun, it’s f****** stupid; I’ve got some really stupid opinions that in fact are funny.

Would you prefer to have a PS4 pre-release or a top billing at The Royal Variety Performance?

“Oh, well, Xbox One. No, I mean, with The Royal Variety Performance, that could be so much fun to do but I don’t think I have any material they would let me do on that show anymore.”

Really?

“[laughs] No, I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah. To be honest, I just f****** hate the idea of offensive comedy. It’s an oxymoron. If you’re offended you’re the idiot. It’s not my fault, or any comedian’s fault, if you’re offended. It’s your parents’ fault for raising a s***** kid.”

I think we did have one exception and that was if it was a really bad joke…

“Oh yeah, but that’s just offensive to comedy. That’s like, yeah – if someone had a s***** joke I would just be offended on behalf of comedy and other comedians. But I’d be wrong! Who am I to judge what people do?”

If you could have a super power, what would it be?

“The power to punch Jaden Smith in the f****** face.”

Daniel Sloss: Stand Up, The Old Market,
Sunday 3 November, 8pm, £13.50/10