Bare cheek: Hove factually

Brian Mitchell and Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column

Five more fantabulous facts you didn’t know about Hove
1 Due to an administrative error, household recycling in Hove is collected only once a year, on November 31st, a date that does not exist.

2 The 1906 Olympic Games were held in Hove, and were a largely dismal affair, only enlivened by a scandal in which Belgian triple jump gold medal-winner Armand Verhegghe was discovered to be two dwarves, one sitting atop the other’s shoulders.

3 One of the many mysteries surrounding the 1968 murder of Bobby Kennedy is the question of why, in 1967, brainwash-rumour assassin Sirhan Sirhan had the legend “BLATCHINGTON ROAD” tattooed across his chest.

4 George Orwell’s 1933 memoir “Down and Out in Paris and London” was originally titled “Down and Out in Paris and London and Hove.” The final, sexually explicit, section of the book was removed prior to publication by Victor Gollancz.

5 Though Hove has a population of 91,000, it has only three working flush toilets, which are used on a time-share basis.

What was that?

Can’t remember the name of a movie, song, book or similar? Mike Hunter is the man with the answers

Dear Mike,
I’m praying you can help me. My hubbys birthday’s coming up and, as it’s the big four-oh, I’d like to do something special. I was thinking of hiring a lookalike to surprise him– and I know there’s this old-time Hollywood film actress he likes, but I can’t remember her name. I think most of her most famous work was done in the 40s and 50s, but she’s dead now, and has been for some time. I’ve a feeling she was the quintessential “dumb blonde” with a sexy, breathy voice and voluptuous figure, and that her life was touched by tragedy. I have a mental image of a blonde woman in a white dress, with a plunging neckline, the skirt of which is being blown up by a subway grille on which she stands. Any ideas? Oh, and I’ve a feeling she was married to both Joe DiMaggio and Arthur Miller and had an affair with JFK.
Thanks,
Maureen Trump, Hove

Dear Maureen,
Don’t worry, I’m going to tell you the answer, just you, and nobody else but you, boo boop-e-do. Ha! Yes, the famous siren who has captured your hubby’s heart is, of course, none other than the blonde bombshell herself, Edith Evans.
Keep those letters flooding in,
Mike X