Telly Talk: Tier it up!
It seems to me that we are developing a tier system in television programmes. At the top, where all the money is spent, are the dramas. You know – the flowery ones that you want boxsets of and are surprised if they don’t come from HBO. Sometimes we’ll get homegrown versions of these. Usually with a film star or film star-in-waiting in them. Classic examples are Sherlock, Doctor Who and Torchwood. ‘Oh, look how very English we are!’ – they proudly proclaim on the price tag next to the BBC Worldwide logo. There’s obviously a secret law that says every one of these episodes must include several examples of Englishness as proclaimed on a top secret tick list. I imagine these would include ‘cup of tea’, ‘double decker bus’ and ‘black cab’ as well as a vocab section with proclamations of ‘golly!’, ‘frightful!’ and a favourite – ‘bugger!’
“Episodes must include examples of Englishness as proclaimed on a top secret tick list”
In the bottom tier of programmes are the dirt cheap reality programmes. Now, these can sometimes pull off a major jump and find themselves on the worldwide table too. It’s not easy to forget being randomly quizzed as to where exactly Essex is by TOWIE fans when I was in New York a couple of years ago. What Essex is, is even harder, but then that’s down to your own discretion and interpretations. And if you don’t have one you’re welcome to come to the party late with the new series that started a couple of weeks back.
Chiefly though, whether it’s 24 Hours In A&E or The Valleys, reality programmes are cheap to make with the cast receiving little if any payment and no overheads for studios, set design or any other paraphernalia. And it shows.
And then there’s everything in the middle.
Yes, there are nuances along the way; cheap dramas and expensive sets abound. Some are intelligent and some appeal to the lowest common denominator in a bid for broad ratings. Does anyone really think there’s anything more expensive than the slow motion replay and Philip Schofield’s fee on The Cube? Inspiring a whole new generation to play ‘Pirates’ (or ‘Sea Of Lava’ depending upon which school you went to), The Cube is a simple idea pared back and polished up. Whereas the new series of Dara O’Briain: School Of Hard Sums is simplicity itself in terms of set and those involved, but will get the grey matter going like nobody’s business. Bravo!
It wold be nice if we got to mix it up a bit sometime, with less reference to the bottom line, international sales and potential celeb-hood. If you’ve got an excellent writer perhaps you don’t need an A-list cast too. Perhaps that A-list cast might take a pay cut if they’re given the opportunity to prove their debut directing chops on a new project. Perhaps some of the imagination used to put together those marvellous Attenborough documentaries could be applied to capture some incredible shots and perspectives elsewhere –maybe in current affairs? All I’m saying is that it shouldn’t have to be all or nothing. Or an adequate and professional job inbetween. We really don’t need 24-hour television with the rise of OnDemand and subscription channels, so why this desperation to fill every minute? Let’s have something new. Something different. Let’s shake it up.
The Only Way Is Essex, Sunday 9 March, ITV2; Dara O’Briain: School Of Hard Sums (new series), Dave, Tuesday 4 March 2014
Follow me: latestvicky
