Andrew Kay: In the frame

Age creeps up on you in the cruelest of ways. Slowly at first, little things that niggle and annoy, and then, as time moves on, those little niggles turn into annoyances.

I was in Holland for the most recent International Chef Exchange, filming for Latest TV, when the age thing struck again. The Hilton in The Hague is only two years old and extremely stylish and well run. My room was spectacular, with dual views across the local canal. But that word spectacular gives the key to the problem.

I woke early, drank a much needed glass of water, took the gout pill and headed for the bathroom and the shower. It was a great shower too, huge, wet room style with an enormous shower head and excellent temperature control. Standing there in my chubbiness, try to eradicate that image from your mind reader, I basked in the delightful warmth of the cascading water, lapping up the soothing experience. It was great, truly soothing, and I could happily have stood there for a long time. But with time against me I knew that I needed to wash, shampoo and condition.

I reached for the toiletries on the shelf in search of the shampoo but there I hit a barrier. Stylish as the packaging was I could not determine which bottle was which. The type was tiny and, being in the shower, I had removed my specs.

Now this may not seem like such a problem to those of you with 20-20 vision, but for an ageing crock like me it was something of a stumbling block, and one I had not encountered before.

I stumbled about in the wet wondering how to proceed. I tried smelling the contents but, nice as they were, they all smelled the same. I contemplated going to get my specs but realised that they were at the far side of my expansive room. In the end I assumed that the clear ones were soapy and the creamy one was a conditioner.

“Stylish as the packaging was I could not determine which bottle was which”

Once washed and out I retrieved my specs and discovered that I had shampooed with body wash and washed with shampoo. I don’t think it did my hair or my body any harm but it did make me want to write to the manufacturers to point out the problem for those of use who require optical assistance with our reading.

It was the first time that this had happened and I suppose it could be to do with the fact that I have new specs with slightly stronger lenses. I knew that I needed a change and I was delighted when by accident I happened upon The Specky Wren, a new opticians at the London Road entrance to the soon to be completed Open Market. There I found excellent advice and service and a pair of frames that I really liked for a price that was impressively affordable. The eye test was very thorough and being new the equipment was state-of-the-art. That scary thing that puffs air into your eye in a most unpleasant manner was not in evidence and in its place a much simpler and less aggressive device.

I left having placed my order and within a few days, far less than their estimate, they called to say that the spectacles were ready for collection. I went along and they looked great in both senses of looking.

I’ve never had a problem with opticians, over the years I have used several here in the city and always had great service. So why change now? Well, geography first, The Specky Wren is minutes from the office. Second, I liked the look of the place, liked the guys who ran it, liked the frames and liked the price. The place was not rammed with expensive so called ‘designer’ frames, but it did have the kind of frames that had a distinctly contemporary look about them. Happy? Yes, until I forget again and get in that blooming hotel shower.

1-2 Marshalls Row, Brighton, BN1 4JU
01273 911191, www.thespeckywren.co.uk

Follow me: @latestandrew