Richard Shayler: A call from a kidnapper? Just a regular day at the office…

Something’s Happened

A man called me this week. I found this strange, because he came up in my phone as ‘Lynn Ruth Miller’, and I found it even stranger that he kept saying “It’s Lynn, it’s Lynn”!

At first I thought it was Lynn, messing around, for Lynn does have a husky voice… but it’s not that deep. It actually was a man. All sorts of thoughts were spiralling through my head at this point. Had she been kidnapped? Will I have to pay the ransom? Is it a mad Granny’s Gone Wild fan?!

(They are the worst.)

I calmed down, composed myself, and asked why he was pretending to be Lynn. He said he wasn’t, and he was in fact calling me to tell me something had happened to Lynn. Aha, the penny dropped. He wasn’t saying HE was Lynn, he was saying IT’S Lynn; something’s happened to Lynn!

A mixture of emotions now bombarded my already bamboozled brain. Phew, she’s not been kidnapped, but… oh no! Something’s happened. Again, thoughts of kidnap and mad Kathy Bates-esque fans were racing through my mind. I waited with bated breath to hear what had happened.

Lynn has now got a few pins in her arm, a woozy head, and a new collection of doting men looking after her. She’d had an operation to fix her poorly arm, an injury she sustained whilst ‘working’ up at the Edinburgh Fringe. We had to reschedule her shows. We lost some guests due to commitment issues, but we also gained a few, too!

This week, we’ve got the hilarious Charmaine Davies and some of the guys from the Brighton Digital Festival. Guy Lloyd chatted to Mike Ward: Mike Ward is a TV critic, for the Daily Star…

I put my foot in it a little, with Mike. Whenever we were in close proximity to one another I was whispering, “5 stars… give us a 5 star review!” He caught me, and called me up on it. I said I was practicing subliminal coercion for an interview with Derren Brown. He believed me.

I knew it would work.

Lara Heller dropped by to tell us all about her upcoming film The Cut. The film is tipped to win several film festivals around the world, so check it out! We saw Lara in action displaying 15 different accents in two minutes; really amazing to see. However, Guy was disappointed she couldn’t do a midlands accent. Both the crew and audience didn’t share this disappointment.

On the sofa with Lara was the fantastic Jill Edwards, she’s a comedy guru. She teaches people how to be funny. I saw Guy swapping numbers with her after the show…

Our resident band for the week was the brilliant Toro. Much like the bull, they were strong, hairy and had a softer side. Once you got to know them. Great band, great guys and of course great tunes. They also brought one of the most boisterous crowds we’ve had to date! Make sure you tune in Wednesday to Saturday this week on Freeview Channel 8 (Virgin Media 159) at 7pm.

Oh, hang on, Lynn’s calling me again. Hello? Lynn! You’ve got to stop putting on that man’s voice. Lynn? You’ve been kidnapped? Noooooo!