Bare Cheek: Can’t remember the name of a piece of music, film, or tv show? Mike Hunter is the man with all the answers…

What Was That?

Dear Mike,

I reckon I am probably your oldest letter writer, as I am to be ninety-eight next month, and will be getting my telegram from the queen a couple of years after that.

Now, what I want to know is this; many years ago, when I was a child, I remember my family gathering together in the kitchen and all drinking cups of this hot beverage, which was made by pouring boiling water on dark brown leaves, then pouring the resultant mix through a sort of sieve into a cup, and adding milk and sugar. The taste of this beverage was heavenly, and really pepped you up, especially on cold mornings.

I remember my father took particular pleasure in “dunking” biscuits in the aforementioned beverage before eating them. So what was this mysterious liquid called? I’ve tried asking the staff in the care home where I live, but all I get is sad looks and an increase in my medication. Please help as I would love to have a nice cup of whatever-it-was again before I die.

Polly Ethrington, Hove.

Polly put the kettle on, Polly put the kettle on, Polly put the kettle on, we’ll all have a cup of the beverage you remember, which I’m very fond of myself. It is of course that old British mainstay, the cocktail “Sex on the beach”, comprising vodka, peach schnapps, and cranberry and orange juices. Enjoy your drink Polly, and everybody else please keep those letters coming in!

Mike XXXX

In&Out

Special ‘Things That Cost More Than They Seem Worth’ Edition:

In
• Ermine
• Lapis lazuli
• Takeaway pizza
• Vanilla
• Handprinted wallpaper

Out
• Caviar
• Spam
• Saffron
• Manuka honey
• Prosecco

The Greatest Brightonian

Comedy experts have recently discovered records proving that Max Miller was entirely unfunny, prompting Brighton Council to remove his statue from Pavilion Gardens and melt it down. They have announced that it is to be replaced with a statue of “the quintessential Brightonian, a person who, more than anyone else, sums up this fair city”.

We at Bare Cheek have received a copy of the shortlist. So who do YOU think the statue should be of? Drop us a line at Bare Cheek, C/O Latest 7, Unit 1, Level Five North, New England House, New England Street, BN1 4GH.

Pyroman, Nimrod Ping, Chris Ellison, Dave Ovett, Dolly Rocket, Cassette Lord, David Bramwell, That woman who used to dance on East Street, Boogaloo Stu, Bill Smith, Drako, Momma Cherri, Jason Kitcat, Tony Haase, Mad Jack, N. F. Brookes, That now-forgotten vicar who said we were godless, Matt Whistler, Dave Zap, Dean, Astral Angi, Terry Garoghan, Simon bleedin’ Fanshawe, Bob Dobbs, The 10p Man, Marilyn Slightly, Mr. Cooper, The Unknown Traffic Warden.

Follow me: @MitchellnNixon