Richard Shayler: It’s all a game of ladders…

Stepping Up

“Has anyone seen the ladder?” Silence. “Nobody?” More silence.

I heard an inaudible whimper from Gemma, the dutiful runner… “It’s in the downstairs cupboard, isn’t it Gemma.” Again, another whimper, this time a little more audible. The answer, as I already knew it would be, was yes.

The downstairs cupboard at the studio is dark, damp, dingy and of course, scary. Oh yes and it smells weird. Really weird. Much like any room that contains an amalgamation of stuff so I can never really figure out what is stored in there. Sometimes paint, sometimes carpets, chairs, lanterns, blow-up dolls, board games, wires, books, toilet seats… the list does go on. Naturally, this is where all the lovely ladders live, in a room that is tricky to navigate whilst also smelling very weird (did I mention that?). Getting the ladder in and out of the room is, erm, an experience. No one likes doing it, but do it they must!

I actually quite enjoy hearing the ladders coming. It’s like a stampede of crescendoing crashes; a tidal wave of noise as the ladder ricochets off the wall and clutter, naturally underpinned by a healthy array of profanities. It makes for a wonderful soundscape.

We needed the ladder because one of the lights on the Brighton Lights set was hanging lower than an assembly of infrequently watered fuchsias. A bitter irony for a show titled Brighton ‘Lights’. The only way to remedy such a disastrous issue was to get the ladder out and realign the poorly thing.

I got the ladder. Made my way back up. Started to realign. Came back down. I was scared, dear readers. But not scared to fall; I was scared I’d drop the light. William, our director, barked at me to get down. He realigned it in seconds. Everyone congratulated and cheered him. I was told to put the ladder away. Which I did, very loudly. Lights, cameras, ladders away? Action!

What a week we’ve got for you this week! Comedians Chris Cresswell and Dave Thompson dropped by to make us all laugh. Author Tim Pilcher told us all about his new book, whilst Phil Jerrod told us all about his amazing beard (and comedy shows). Matt Whistler stopped by and wowed us all with his unique style of comedy. Mark Stack, music aficionado, popped in at the last minute to talk music. And I really do mean last minute! He wasn’t meant to be a guest on the show, but after I’d heard him chat music, I had to get him on. And to finish we had Steve Jones (‘Jonesy’) from QTube to talk LGBT, with DJ Seamus Haji to talk DJ(BT?).

Overall, another great week of guests. And as an extra treat, we had the wonderful Brighton School of Singing pleasuring our eardrums. Please do join us Wednesday to Saturday at 7pm on Freeview Channel 8, and Virgin Media 159.

“What’s that, Jonesy? The toilet? Just downstairs mate. Not the right door, though. That’s where the ladders live! JONESY!!! I meant turn left, not the left door! [Crash… bang… profanity] … Jonesy? Are you all right?”

“I’m OK; why are there so many ladders in here, though? And what is that awful smell?!”