Bare Cheek: Etiquette With Hetty Qwett

Dear Hetty,
My goddaughter has just given birth and I wanted to present her with a small gift for the child.

Now, in my day an appropriate gift would have been a silver spoon or mug, or perhaps a charm bracelet, but it occurs to me that such items may not be regarded as ‘with it’ or ‘fashionable’ these days.

If this is the case, can you please inform me as to what would be proper.

Lillian Cross, Hove.

Dear Lillian,

Thankfully, a spoon, mug or bracelet are still acceptable gifts, at least
in my neck of the woods, but other items are, these days, equally acceptable. Debrett’s provides the following list of items:

• Babygro
• Organic wool blanket
• Merino knitware
• Body lotion
• ‘Trunki’ (whatever that might be)
• Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers
• Guns

Hope this has been of some help.

Hetty X

Bus Names Explained

Bus

Dr. Timothy Leary – No. 18

Once deemed “the most dangerous man in America”, the notorious Harvard psychologist and LSD evangelist would holiday on alternate years at the old Butlins’ Ocean Hotel, in Saltdean.

Tommy Trinder – No. 32

The famous music hall turn, one-time host of Sunday Night At The London Palladium, and wearer of the stupidest hat yet donned, once played an entire summer season at the West Pier theatre. Somewhat unusually, this followed its closure in 1975.

Lisa from Steps – No. 44

Once looked at a couple of flats in Hove with a view to buy.

Laurence Sterne – No. 25

The full title of the last great novel by the 18th-century mercurial master story-teller is A Sentimental Journey Through France And Italy By Mr. Yorick, Stopping Off At Newhaven.

Cloris Leachman – No. 74

The Mel Brooks’ favourite and Mary Tyler Moore Show star once appeared in her guise as the severe Germanic matron
in High Anxiety, on a leaflet for a Brighton fetish night.

Paulus The Woodgnome – No. 81

Deputy Lord Lieutenant for East Sussex, 1978-85.

In&Out

In
• Donna Air
• Problem Child 2
• The Unknown Comic
• Sylvania Waters
• Fart powder

Out
• Jayne Middlemiss
• Snakes on a Plane
• The Dreyfuss Affair
• Boyle’s law
• Smut

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