Richard Shayler: culture shock … what a welcome experience!
Turning Japanese
As you read this I’ll either be eating sushi, watching very large men wearing nappies wrestle, or sipping lethal sake concoctions. Yes you’ve guessed it – I’m going to a hipster’s cocktail party!
No, of course I’m not doing that. A hipster wouldn’t watch large men wearing nappies wrestle. They’d be watching barbers shaving beards or opticians explaining the importance of prescription free glasses. Obviously, I’m off to Japan.
Japan, the city of tradition, etiquette and … a severe lack of toilet roll? According to the internet (which, as any hipster will tell you, is always right) Japan is the city of interesting, profound and of course hilarious facts.
In Japan it is illegal to go late night dancing. This could become problematic, as I live to dance, but only if it is very late in the night. The Japan also have more pets than they do children. Again this is going to be a problem. I often like to dance with pets, especially when it gets quite late into the night. So late in fact that one could accurately describe the act as ‘Late Night Dancing’. Perhaps the law is a little grey when it comes to human and canine interpretive dance? I very much hope so.
In Japan, square watermelons are commonplace amongst street vendors. Why, you ask? Simple. So they can store them more easily. They have the most efficient trains in the world with delays never exceeding the 18 second mark. And due to Japan’s low birth rate, the sale of adult diapers exceeds that of children’s. Personally, I blame all those sumo wrestlers.
They have ‘cat cafés’, which are – well the clue’s in the name. It’s a café with cats. Coffee, soya milk and cats. Free wi-fi, overly priced sandwiches and cats. You know what they say; when the cat’s away … how did that saying go? Ah yes. When the cat’s away, you no longer have to keep an eye on your coffee, croissant and iphone.
KFC is a typical Christmas eve treat amongst the Japanese, Ronald McDonald is called Donald McDonald and of course they have a festival celebrating fertility and the penis. Sadly this is not happening whilst I am away. I have booked for next year, though.
Safe to say, Japan is going to be very different. But different is amazing. Travelling through life doing the same things over and over will only ever lead to ignorance and unhappiness. Lay down your insecurities and challenge yourself to go against the grain to alleviate the stresses of normality!
This is what Brighton Lights tries to do. That is why we’re making a few changes … not yet, but soon. I can’t say much now as it’s all top secret! Watch to find out, 7pm Wednesday to Saturday on Freeview channel 8, Virgin Media channel 159 and live online at www.thelatest.tv. The only thing I can tell you is there’s going to be lots of adults in nappies. Sayonara!
