Andrew Kay: Spring Clean
To dust or not to dust
Much as I love working for a magazine there is an occassional downside, not often I confess but once in a while I read the competitions and resent that I am not allowed to enter.
This happened very recently when we had a prize of a full deep clean of your home. Oh how I wanted that, I wanted to let someone in in the morning, leave for the day and find everything spick and span on my return.
I’m not an unclean person, far from it, I do like things done properly but I am untidy. I like things in order, that’s the Virgo in me, but the Aquarian in me is far more devil may care and it gives me such internal conflict.
I do crazy things like have my vast selection of ties, bow ties and cravattes sorted by colour. My shorts are the same, plain colours, stripes, patterns and finally the outrageous Hawaiian ones that I avoid in the sumer months. Suits and trousers are treated in the same way, formal at one end of the rail and casual at the other – jeans and shorts are folded and kept in a drawer. The kitchen is similarly organised but I will spare you the detail as I am sure you can imagine that it is always well stocked with a fine variety of the commonplace and the exotic.
When it comes to my vast collections of stuff though I am far less regimental and tend to group things for effect. You will find muddles of paintings that I think work together, groups of ceramics that make sense to me if to no one else and more glass than any sensible person ever needs to own. I might have guessed that having grown up in St Helens, the original home of Pilkington Glass that eventually I would fall under its spell – and I have. I have some Chance ware, it’s delicate and striking, but the major part of the collection is Sklo Union with a bit of Whitefriars thrown in. I think it looks rather good but I can see that it’s not to everyone’s taste.
On a recent visit my friend Mr M shrieked at the sight and called them all dust gatherers. It gave him a headache. He prefers the minimal look, a low sofa, a lamp and a wine rack. That’s him!
He was right about the dust though, my how that faceted glass gathers and holds the dust – and with an excess of fifty pieces to date, not including the ceramics, they do present a cleaning challenge.
I think they would aslo present a challenge to any cleaning person who took on the task, to me they are precious and I would no doubt have to convey that. Any poor soul would live in dread of damaging a piece – and if you are to clean properly it would be impossible to avoid going near them as they are quite literally everywhere.
I was lucky enough to know Quentin Crisp when I was a student. He said this “There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn’t get any worse.” Witty enough but so not true, after a few weeks the dust in my home diminishes the sparkle of my lovely coloured glass, gems that I have picked up for small change in boot fairs and junk shops.
I know that the solution is of course to go the route of a low sofa, lamp and wine rack but it simply isn’t for me. I love the clutter, the explosions of colour, shape and form, I like to take them down from time to time and move them around, I take pleasure in each new piece and as a consequence I will enter my latter years in dusty bliss.
