Andrew Bullock: The Box

THE UNDATEABLES

Last week I watched The Undateables for the first time. Now, why did I decide to set my Sky+ all of a sudden to record a show I’ve never bothered to watch before in my life? The trailer, basically. It looked like a particularly awkward episode featuring particularly awkward people. So in the interest of ‘entertainment’ I thought I’d give it a whirl.
The thing with this show is that you tune into it with a sort of smirking fascination; but then actually you realise that it’s the type of programming that Channel 4 does very well – almost raising awareness through light factual entertainment.
There was James, to begin with – a totally harmless, sweet student, clearly highly intelligent yet romantically catastrophic. James was looking for a girlfriend. So Channel 4 sends him off on a date with Chloe, a woman with Asperger’s (the same social condition he suffers from) whom he takes to afternoon tea. He gives her a rose and tells her that his mother helped him to pick out his outfit. Chloe doesn’t seem fussed (probably because of the mother thing!) but by the end of the episode James is cooking her dinner at his place. He gets around too – squeezing in a date with Susanna in between (and taking notes with him to remind himself not to talk about politics lest he comes across dull as well as awkward).
But, these people are anything but dull. I have been on duller dates than some of the ones portrayed on the show. I have dated (which means I have continued to go out with) duller people than this lot.

There was an endearing story about Tammy, who had horribly lost some of her face to meningitis and was awaiting reconstructive surgery. It was actually very tragic, but the man she dated (whose confidence issues stemmed from the fact that he is bald and wears glasses) saw right past this and straight into her soul. Again, I have had first dates where I’ve left feeling worse about myself than this.
Then there was Tom, the hunky, athletic rugby player. “Why is HE on this show?” you might find yourself screaming at the TV. Again, Asperger’s and an added tick thrown in for good measure. The lesson here wasn’t that those things don’t matter if you’re tall, blonde and handsome; it was about how Tom lacked any confidence whatsoever. The fact that the British public have seemingly fallen for this man and would happily throw themselves at him regardless of any evident medical condition is irrelevant – possibly because Tom might be terrified about touching you. Tom, I’d say, was the least confident of all three of these “undateables”.
Normally I’ll write a column erring on the cattier side of TV commentary, but I’ll save that for shows such as First Dates, where these people don’t really seem to help themselves, despite not necessarily having a condition per se. But The Undateables is just so damn cute that I simply can’t. Nor would I want to.
Andrew Bullock is a producer, presenter and writer. You can read more at www.drewjbullock.wordpress.com