Jake – About a Boy

Class of his own

One day at school, I decided to run for class president. My opponent was a totally insane, inconceivably dangerous bully. Most people despised him, aside from a tawdry trail of sycophants who followed him everywhere, believing his fanciful promises to cancel homework forever and make chocolate milk come out of the taps.

The numbers were with me though. Surely I was a shoe-in? Year group council meetings took place every Thursday at 3pm, which was a slight sticking point – I had guitar lessons at that time. How best to sidestep this? Come clean? Promise I’d work something out? Maybe even move my guitar lesson? But then I thought: “People will think I’m weak if I do that, I think I’ll pointlessly cover it up instead.”

Then a week later, a video circulated of me walking into the music rooms at 3pm on Thursday. People started to say they couldn’t trust me. I protested desperately, imploring: “No, I was just trying to make sure you didn’t panic. It’ll be fine!”

“But you lied to us.” they said. Come election day, I watched him beat me by a single vote. My bad I guess, wish there was something I could’ve done differently.

@jakeshoolheifer