Richard Hearn has ‘that sort of a day

Let’s write about a rainy Wednesday. But first, before the curtains were even drawn and I knew the day I was going to have, let me tell you about the first sight of the day – coming downstairs and seeing that The Boy had constructed a red and yellow Lego helicopter, before 7am. This is one of two classic post-birthday sights. The other happens about fifteen minutes later: The Boy and Youngest™ arguing over another new toy (this time, Skylanders). The Boy disappears off upstairs in a huff carrying them in a special bag, which becomes an ever-present, cumbersome accessory, a bit like an oxygen tank.

“He’s like an over-zealous forensic chief in charge of a crime scene”

The rain begins. On the school run we are swept down the slope like flotsam and jetsam, with no other human contact. Back home, with me on childcare duty, lethargy creeps in (I certainly haven’t achieved my own red-and-yellow-helicopter equivalent). Youngest™ is happy enough playing with a toy jumbo jet which has the wings missing, although he doesn’t let me move it, he’s like an over-zealous forensic chief in charge of a crime scene. I, meanwhile, have a list of big and small stuff I wanted to get done, but the weather seems to dampen my enthusiasm… do you see what I did there? With the rain theme?
There is a break in the weather, and I persuade Youngest™ out to the garden so I can do a long put-off job: taking apart the football goal which has rusted and broken, and whose place in the garden has been usurped by the trampoline. I have tried hammering it apart, I’ve tried WD40. Plan C: the saw. Is there anything so depressing as the sight of a Dad sawing apart a neglected children’s toy? In the rain? (It’s started again.)

Youngest™ accompanies me, a glimmer of sunshine – but with some thunder and lightning – on a rainy day. He points out, individually, all objects that are wet in the garden, surprised at each one. One day, I’ll sit him down and explain he can group them all together.

We take the sawn-up goal to the tip, where a crane is grabbing stuff out of the metal skip; a rare bit of visual drama in my day. A child’s bike forms a black silhouette against the grey sky. What else? I send an invoice to do with a recent drain repair to our insurers and I take back library books, but can’t even tell you whether we had fines because I just rushed in and out.

At about 4pm, in keeping with the water theme, a plumber comes to give us a quote on radiators. Read those last few words again… it was that sort of a day.

Illustration: Paul Lewis www.pointlessrhino.com