True colours

Despite its title, My Dad Is A Woman is not particularly sensationalist. It’s quiet, considered, could arguably say more, but says more than I’ve certainly seen on television before about living as a transgender woman and how it affects her family. Apparently, there are vastly more male to female transgender people in this country than those making a gender move in the other direction. This is why, it is implied by the narrator, both of the programme’s studies are regarding women who used to be men.
There’s a fair amount of unsaid information mixed in with the said-out-loud, both by this documentary’s narrator and by the subjects of the programme. It was interesting to hear how each of the couples – both Jane and Michelle’s wives – have stayed with them, continuing to be their best friends, have dealt with telling their children about what was going on and about the slow development and unhappy hiding of Jane and Michelle’s realisation of who they really were, when they were living as men. And it was interesting how differently they, as parents, decided to act. Not drastically – as this is not a drastic story in its delivery, only in its subject – but differently.
There is a danger to try and pigeon-hole what a person is like simply because of one aspect of them. This is the caricature; the effeminate gay man, the ditzy female driver, the dumb blonde. The fact that Michelle and Jane look so different, have different dress senses, bone structure, ages, backgrounds, and yet travel similar paths, gently but firmly corrodes the possibility of any cliché developing. In the same way that everyone might go to school but everyone has a different experience, these are just two of a very small minority who share an experience, explained with detailed clarity and without sensationalism, and yet that experience is uniquely theirs.
I know this all sounds like common sense, but with the horn of plenty that has made up recent documentaries made on a shoestring following real people’s lives, there has been a temptation for some filmmakers to turn what started out as a snapshot into a journey or story. In ‘real life’ there very rarely is a clear beginning at exactly the time cameras turn up. It’s not that tidy. There may be key things that happen, but not everybody lives happily ever after a wedding, and no wedding arrives without fanfare and due consideration, sometimes dating back further than the actual relationship! Such is the way with operations, revelations and integrations. And why this snapshot seems most appropriate.
There is a mention, in the programme, of Nuffield Hospital in Brighton. It’s always good to hear a local facility getting recognition. There is also coverage of voice tuition, fashion tips from a teenage daughter, birthday presents once longed for and now received, hair removal… so many snapshots to come together to make one clear but not absolute impression. Which is about as much as you can get of anyone in only an hour.
My Dad Is A Woman, ITV1, Wednesday 29 February