Andrew Kay is half way through the Festival and living in hope that his diary can stand the pace

Do you, like me, have diary issues? That sounds so like one of those cheaply dubbed American self-help style TV ads, you know the kind; “Are you struggling with incontinence?”; “Is your life plagued by trapped wind?”; “Do your dentures ruin your enjoyment of fruit conserves?”.

Right now my life is troubled by an overly complex diary. It’s bad enough in a normal month, not that any of my months could pass as normal, but come May all hell breaks loose.

“My diary is a juggling act, an electronic feat of dexterity in which I have to keep all my balls in the air at any one time”

I’m not complaining about being busy, far from it. I love my action packed month of art and entertainment, and by the time you read this I will have see at least 15 events, not to mention endless street jugglers.
Funnily enough, juggling is exactly the right term. My diary is a juggling act; an electronic feat of dexterity in which I have to keep all my balls in the air at any one time (quiet at the back).

Maybe next week I’ll get a few hints when I go to see Smashed at the Concert Hall in Brighton Dome. Maybe not. After all, keeping coloured balls aloft, whilst entertaining, is hardly the same as managing a diary that is filled with conflicts and misguided expectations.

I’ve tried colour coding my diary entries, but it simply gets harder to understand. The daytime work bookings, my review dates in the evenings, my doctor and acupuncture appointments and of course the private and personal things that I feel I need not share, simply morph into one unintelligible blur of activity. If ever I were to be investigated by the intelligence services they would find none. Intelligence that is.

Were I intelligent I would learn to say no more often. But then, following that thought through, my life might become easier but duller, my days less demanding and, ask anyone, I am a nightmare when I have nothing to do. Boredom does not suit.

So if you see me looking dazed and bewildered then it’s probably because I am – dazed, bewildered and on the whole pretty happy with that status all the same.