The Landlady gives in & says yes to Ibiza

At the beginning of the year, I claimed (somewhat getting ahead of myself, it would appear) that I would not be going on holiday as much this year as I had done in preceding years. Alas, it appears that I was completely deluding myself, as the only month I have not been away so far is July, when I stayed and enjoyed the disgusting weather Brighton had to offer. So far this year, I have been to Cuba, Croatia, The Maldives, New York, Portugal, Dubai and Jordan (twice!). So much for not going on holiday – and little wonder I have had to rent my room to Austrian families in order to
pay for it…

“The only month I have not been away so far is July”

I had resigned myself to spending the rest of the year in Brighton, then the Big Daughter came back from a holiday in Ibiza in June and claimed that I ought to go as I’d absolutely love it. I used to go to Paul Oakenfold’s club in Streatham in the ‘80s, yet have always resisted going to Ibiza… until now.

I persuaded my good friend N that it would be a good idea to go for a weekend of clubbing and the flights were booked in order to attend the closing parties in September.

I began to regret my decision when, two weeks later, The Big Son returned from 10 days in Ibiza a broken person. He could barely speak and had to spend three days in bed in order to become even as much as a shadow of his former self. I’m afraid I will have to keep an eye on myself in Ibiza – easier said than done – as I will not have the luxury of three days in bed when I return. In fact, on the very day after my return, I have two serious and studious French girls moving into Landlady Towers, who are to attend university in Brighton over the following 10 months. What’s more, their parents are coming and staying with them for the first few days and I’m sure will not take kindly to leaving their daughters in the charge of a cross-eyed, voiceless, gibbering idiot.

One of the rooms that I am renting to the French girls has needed painting since last November when I had one of the windows replaced. The trouble is that it has been rented out solidly since then and I haven’t been able to get in and paint it. Because the room will still be occupied when I go to Ibiza, the only day I will be able to paint it is the day after I return (on a 2am flight!), which is the day before the French girls actually arrive. This does not leave much margin for the errors that are sure to occur… Thank God it’s a small room.

Illustration: Jake McDonald www.shakeyillustrations.blogspot.com