Less familiar bus names

Now you know the connections of our buses to the famous. But what of those more obscure names we see trundling around town, slower than a Scottish pensioner on a mobility scooter? Here are some of those mute, inglorious Miltons (NB. none of them are actually called
Milton) explained.

SIR SAMUEL BROWN – No. 405 –Famous for not being Sir Samuel Browne, the distinguished soldier and inventor of the holster belt. It was his grace and good humour when mistaken for his more illustrious near-namesake that earnt him his knighthood.

HELEN BOYLE – No. 659 – Local publisher and moral crusader. In 1947 she launched a 30,000 initial print run of Cheeky Chappie Max Miller’s fabled ‘White Book’ and went bankrupt.

GEORGE HUMPHREY – No. 629 – Made the first recorded use of the joke about the farmer who had taken ten years to learn to say ‘manure’.

MAUDIE OTTAWAY – No. 709 – Can recite by rote, at pace, and without slip or hesitation, the words to the old ‘Lip smacking’ Pepsi commerical.

NATHANIEL WOODARD – No. 439 – Invented the concept of Chris Tarrant. According to legend, the idea for ‘C. T.’ – everybody’s favourite reformed alcoholic – came to his inventor in a dream one Saturday morning after he’d enjoyed a midnight feast of a face full of flan and a bucket of water. Woodard’s less successful creations included Bob Carolgees, Fogwell Flax and magician
Clive Webb.

Your safe word
Each week we ask a couple from Brighton’s thriving BDSM Scene what their safe word is.

This week: Mr and Mrs Colin Richie of Hanover. Their
safe word is…
“Flask”.

LOGICAL JOKES
More rational funnies

Q: Why does a golfer take an extra pair of socks with him when he goes golfing?
A: In case it is exceptionally cold.

Q: How do you make a band stand?
A: Instructions can be obtained from the “Woodwork” section of any library.

Special “Humorously Jumbled Titles of Famous Books” edition

Ins & Outs

In
• The Wrath of Grapes
• Heart Wounded My Knee at Bury
• The Curious Night-time of The Incident in The Dog
• Keep The Flying Aspidistra
• The Crowd Far From Madding

Out
• Flies of The Lord
• Flesh – The Way of All
• A Havana in Our Man
• Time The Music to a Dance
• The Lightness of Being Unbearable