The Landlady dreams of faraway places

Now that the nasty autumn weather has set in, I am having withdrawal symptoms from jetting off to tropical climes, which is what I usually do when the weather becomes rubbish here. Ok,

I know I’ve recently been to Ibiza and Portugal, but short haul destinations to me are the equivalent of getting on a bus, as they seem to take the same amount of time or – in some cases – even less.

I blame my withdrawal symptoms on a very nice lady who came to my till at the supermarket this morning. She’d bought an inordinate amount of food, and said that she was stocking up as she’d just been away. Of course, to a nosy, veteran traveller such as myself, this begged the question, where had she been? She’d been on a long-haul journey to a far-flung Eastern destination to visit friends, and proceeded to tell me all about the city, their public transport system, parks, restaurants and costs of living. We then moved on to talk about the airline she’d travelled with and which films she’d watched on the flight, one of which I’d seen when returning from Cuba three months ago.

After the lady had gone, I realised that I hadn’t watched a film for at least three months, and after further thought surmised that I hadn’t been to the cinema for two years, and in fact only watch films when I’m perched 39,000 feet over the Atlantic eating airline food. On some flights, you can cram in three films just on the outbound journey, thus leaving nothing to watch on the way back.

“I am now hankering after a long-haul foreign trip, no matter what the destination”

Anyway, the upshot of it all is that, due to this conversation, I am now hankering after a long-haul foreign trip, no matter what the destination. It is the first time in three years that I haven’t got at least two trips in the pipeline, which is all down to The New Boyfriend, who I would miss if I went away, meaning that if I go any further than Europe he’s just going to have to come with me whether he likes it or not.

Luckily, my itchy feet might be assuaged next month (in a temporary manner, at least) because my friend Miss T, with whom I often travel in a terribly debauched manner, has asked me to accompany her to Budapest for a long weekend. This is a destination I’ve never been to before so I’m keen to go. Moreover, Miss T and I make perfect travelling companions, because she, apparently unaffected by alcohol, is able to get up at the crack of dawn and visit historical sites while I languish in bed with my hangover. She will then tell me all about it later, so I don’t even have to leave my bed and drag myself around local landmarks, which is not my forte. The only problem is that we’re travelling with The Big Orange One, which shows no films…

Illustration: Jake McDonald www.shakeyillustrations.blogspot.com