Matt Whistler continues his adventures abroad

A night on a self catering balcony in an overseas location is not without its problems.

The T-lights purchased from the local store go out and the tall candles last longer, but the height makes them more susceptible to the wind. Putting tuna in the pasta works, because you can then use the empty golden tin as a candle holder and burner to keep the pan warm on the dining table.

I was on the fourth floor looking over the bay when an Indonesian next door neighbour kindly gave me his multi-coloured lilo over the dividing wall. Bingo! Fill each gap with a measure of water and float T-lights on the lilo. It took me half an hour to place the T-lights and a wonderful spectrum of colour through the lilo emanated from my balcony. I sat back with an ice cold beer, chuffed at my ingenuity, when one of the candles must have drifted too close to the side of the gap; a loud expelling noise came out and my recent present deflated in seconds. I had to throw a bucket of water over the lilo to prevent an international disaster.

The lilo didn’t ever make it to the sea, so I used it as a comfortable resting ground in the bath. The rest of the time was spent hanging out in the pool. Ever watched the film The Swimmer, where Ned Merrill (Burt Lancaster) tells his friends he has a sudden idea to swim home through the county in Connecticut by dropping in on friends, diving and swimming through their pool? The thought did occur to me, but water is required or a big box of plasters and bandages, plus I’ve only seen village ponds.