The Landlady’s selective season & shopping list

One of my long-term lodgers has moved out, leaving me with an empty room. In previous years, I would have been thrown into extreme panic, but this year, just like spring, the foreign student season seems to have commenced a little earlier than usual. Therefore, with a queue of people waiting to move in, I have spent my spare time this week preparing the room for the summer season. This means a splash of white paint, new bedding and a new rug to cover up the tea stains made by previous lodgers, who also seem keen to throw tea at the walls for some reason.

While I was about it, I stain-sealed the huge damp patch on The Small Daughter’s bedroom ceiling and painted over it, much to the bewilderment of The Small Daughter, who couldn’t care less that her bedroom ceiling was partially brown and covered in mould spots. She is more concerned with make-up, hair straightening and posting selfies onto Facebook. Oh, to have the time to fritter in such idle pursuits.

“I also have to buy a new snorkel and mask as I left mine on a beach in Cuba”

The Small Daughter is also totally disinterested in the fact that I’ve used my work bonus this year to book us a trip to the Seychelles and Dubai. While she is glued to YouTube on her iPad Mini, I pore over The Lonely Planet and the internet to find us the best possible accommodation at the best possible prices, confuse myself with inter-island ferry timings and prices and attempt to sort out the Small Daughter’s dishevelled wardrobe, which is half at her dad’s house anyway. I am trying to waylay the inevitable last minute panic over suitable clothing for our trip, but feel that I am fighting a losing battle. The Small Daughter has grown so much over the past year that none of her clothes fit her anyway and I suspect that, on top of all the other expenses concerned with this trip, I will also be in for an entire new wardrobe. I also have to buy a new snorkel and mask as I left mine on a beach in Cuba last month, which although quite annoying, is a problem that I’m sure many people would like to have.

The fact that I am going to be away from Landlady Towers for a fortnight has deemed it necessary to select my new lodger with extreme caution. Guitarists are fine as lodgers while I’m here to keep an eye on them, but I would be insane to leave them to their own devices while I’m several thousand miles away, especially as the Big Daughter displays a dogged reluctance to reprimand anyone in my absence. I have got a Japanese girl moving in on Sunday and am hoping she won’t be bringing a guitar with her.