The Landlady: Rent Book Tales

Golden oldies

Does this column make you feel old? Depends how long you’ve been reading it, I suppose. If I said I’d been writing it every week for the past 15 years, would it make you feel old then? It doesn’t exactly make me feel old, just a little alarmed that my lifestyle has not yet been sufficiently curtailed for me to have nothing to say. Surely I should have my feet up with the feminine equivalent of pipe and slippers by now?

The reason I’m reminiscing slightly is because last week, when hoovering the new carpet he’d just fitted in one of my letting rooms, the carpet-fitter accidentally smashed the electric socket clean off the wall. I had to seriously restrain myself from slapping him, as I already had an ambitious (and possibly totally unachievable) schedule to complete before the new tenant arrived the following afternoon.

Has anyone ever tried to repair a snarled-up Velux blind?

There was the broken Velux blackout blind that the old tenant had kindly left me to repair. Has anyone ever tried to repair a snarled-up Velux blind? I should imagine there’s some kind of masters degree in it. If YouTube is anything to go by, it’s a universal pain in the a*** and there is no hard and fast solution.

Anyway, I digress. As I had neither the time nor the inclination to replace the socket, I called my trusty electrician, whom I’ve known since he was 19. Because I was at work, The Small Daughter, who was drinking cider with her friends, had to go and let the electrician into the house. When he called to tell me that the new socket was fitted and working, he sheepishly admitted that he felt really old, seeing the tall version of The Small Daughter, as he’d first seen her when she was one week old.

Perhaps you’ll feel old too, when I tell you I had then just bought a 3 bed flat for £100,000. Those were the days…