AK Soufflé: Growing old disgracefully

I’m 61, and happily that age. I have had lots of fun and I still do have lots of fun, all kinds of fun, just don’t ask for details as I would hate to upset anyone.

I’m also single and right now happily so. I like living alone, making decisions for myself without having to go through prolonged consultations. I like eating what I want to eat when I want to eat it and watching what I want when I choose to watch it. You might think this is selfish but in another sense it is pretty selfless, after all I am not forcing my weird lifestyle choices on anyone else am I?!

I spent a great deal of my life looking for Mr Right, often making do with Mr Right-now and sometimes Mr Make-do. It wasn’t all gloomy, I did have two very wonderful long term relationships that meant a huge amount to me and along the way to those I met a lot of very nice people who were great company and great fun.

But relationships come along and blossom, sometimes because we force them, like rhubarb or white asparagus, and sometimes because they are simply meant to be.

Growing old disgracefully can be fun but it can be lonely and difficult too

Of course I am lucky, I have a busy busy life and lots of great friends. My diary is packed with things to do, and most of them are a real pleasure. I also have a job that I love, and I have been blessed to have always had jobs that give me a great deal of satisfaction and pleasure. I know lots of people who have jobs that are simply a means to an end, a chore to be endured. My aunty Betty once told mum that I had done rather well considering that all I was good at was colouring in! Well bless her, if you can build a life as happy as mine has been on the basis of colouring in, and no, I have not always kept within the lines, then you are a very lucky person indeed!

There have of course been down times and lonely times, and this is where I am going with this. As I get older I become more and more aware of the fact that there is a growing population of older gay men and women and amongst that number there is also a growing problem of isolation and poverty.

We’re great at remembering to dig deep for issues that get a lot of publicity, we can raise money when asked to but can we raise awareness of issues that are less glamorous and perhaps less emotive. Growing old disgracefully can be fun, but I know that it can be lonely and difficult too.