Malone finds co-parenting harmony at last
So here I am sprawled on my six year old’s bed writing to you, surrounded by dolls and teddies positioned into some sort of Barbie yoga… Moshi Monsters line the floor like sniper soldiers ready to snare the soles of my feet at any time. I stare around the room at un-used abacuses (seemed like a good idea at the time) and dolls with hair so tangled I wonder if a bird has actually flown in the window and made a nest.
I make a mental note to put “tidy room” on my daughter’s ‘reward chart’ though the reward chart has pretty much been abandoned since the Easter holidays. Shame, as it was going quite well; she liked getting a sweetie at the end of each day and a magazine every week. She didn’t notice I would have given her the magazine and sweetie anyway, but this was a great way of getting her to do stuff she had no motivation to do!
“I was a nappy-changing warrior surviving day to day”
Look, I’ve being making domestic small talk. There’s no easy way to say this, I’m going to come right out and say it. This is over. This is my last column. It’s not you. It’s me. I’m holding you back, instead of sitting there reading this you could be out there kite surfing, playing Suduko or tweeting kitten videos. Yes, we’ve been together seven years and I’ll miss you very much. I’ve always been here, delivering a column nearly every week for for seven years. Even when my baby was born, even when my heart was broken and I was left alone trying to work out which cry was for milk, wind or nappy changing, I wrote to you. Even when my parents were both in hospital at the same time with cancer, I reached out to you. You’ve told me you love laughing at my column and this has made me very happy as writing this has always helped me see the humour in the darkest of times. When I first wrote this column I was a suddenly single eight-months pregnant woman. I wrote when I was scared and profoundly heart broken trying to let go of the dream of the 2:4 family. I was a nappy-changing warrior surviving day to day, and I’ve shared everything that’s happened since. Now I have a new modern-style family, where I live with my man and my child in our own little nest. It’s so modern that my child’s father even stays when he’s in the UK! Everything feels settled, which is what I wanted for my child. If you’d told me that I’d achieve such co-parenting harmony seven years ago I would have cried with happy disbelief. It’s not been an easy seven years, thanks for being there for me when I needed someone. If you miss me you can find me on Twitter or on a Waterstones shelf soon.
