Richard Hearn kills two birds with one stone

As a microcosm of my life – and let’s face it, this column – last weekend was pretty much perfect. It involved consumer-related anger plus a visit to a slightly random museum/wildlife area/zoo. I’m sure you’ll agree it had everything. Saturday, and let’s start with the heart-wrenching moment we all face. Yes, I’m talking of course about saying goodbye to a fridge freezer.

To summarise the key points: I was planning on buying from an independent, based on previous dreadful customer service from the two main electrical giants. But I wavered, leaving one of the giants telling me it was free delivery and takeaway, unless next day which was £23 if we ordered by 2pm. I went home, checked the measurements and rang back 30 minutes later, speaking to the same person. Now, they couldn’t deliver the next day and for the next fortnight delivery was £20. This was like a bad sci-fi (I mean dull) where everything changed ever so slightly in half an hour. I ordered from the independent instead.

“I’m hoping that’s the best Birds of Prey/Fridge-Freezer column you’ll have read this year”

To ease the tension, let’s flash forward 24 hours, The Boy, Youngest™ and I are stroking a tawny owl in a Huxley’s Birds of Prey Centre near Horsham. There’s a knowledgeable man telling us all sort of facts, and we get extra attention as we’re the only ones in the ‘Meet the owl’ session. The Boy’s very interested in wildlife – his current favourite TV programme is Deadly 60 – so that’s why we’re there. It’s also what I call one of my GOTH days. No, not dressing up in black and acting miserable (although that happens too) but Getting Out The House (My wife is doing an MA so I take the kids out so she can get some work done). I found this place online, it’s good, despite the fact that it’s hidden away behind a garden centre where you’d normally find the trellis.

The Boy does some intricate drawings with careful labelling, showing eight birds of prey. Youngest™ and a Peregrine falcon eye each other with suspicion. Someone in the distance buys a wheelbarrow.

I expect you’re wondering about the fridge-freezer? Ordering from the independent, it comes when it should. It’s a high fridge-freezer and I’m not a tall person. When I open the door and look up at the new high shelf, it’s like looking into heaven – something to do with the whiteness and the light. It has the same effect as contemplating the age of the earth or the size of the universe. It makes me feel small.
So there we have it. I’m hoping that’s the best birds of prey/fridge-freezer column you’ll have read this year. In a shortlist of one.



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