Hove factually

Five facts you never knew about fantabulous Hove

1. The electrification of Hove was not completed until 1996. Ten years previously, 69% of its households still relied on gas mantles for lighting, a further 10% used fireflies kept in jars, while 4% used bottled Will-o-the-Wisp. 17% lived in darkness.

2. In 2007 Bobby Farrell, the bloke from ‘Boney M’, was made a freeman of the borough of Aldrington.

3. As well as the town of Draveil
in France, Hove is twinned
with Pumpernickel, Clochemerle, Hattytown, Gomorah, Titipu,
Boys Town, the Floating Island of Laputa, River City Iowa, The Village from ‘The Prisoner’, Crazy Town, Brigadoon, The Duchy of Grand Fenwick and Potterville.

4. In Hove the cooking of chips in anything other than lard is a criminal offence carrying a mandatory prison sentence of no less than eight years before probabtion.

5. NBC’s 1983 series ‘Manimal’, starring Simon McCorkindale, was voted the best TV drama ever by a 2011 poll of Hove residents, beating its nearest rival, ATV’s ‘The Shillingbury Tales’, by 13%.

Etiquette with Hetty Kwett
Dear Hetty,
One of my best friends has recently asked me to be best man at his wedding, a rather posh affair that is to take place at a stately home in Kent. Obviously this is a great honour, but I am a bit uncertain about what my duties will be, having never been a best man before. Can you let me know what, properly speaking, will be required of me? Please help.
Guy Featherly-Weatherly, Aldrington

Dear Guy,
Congratulations. Being asked to be a”best man” is indeed a great honour. The role of best man (originally “groom’s man”) has been around since medieval times, and originally his job was to kill any of the groom’s enemies who might be in the castle, and to drug the bride with spiked mead prior to the wedding night. Thankfully you won’t be called upon to do that! But your duties are numerous, and include:-

• Selecting the hat that the groom will wear.
• Making sure that each bridesmaid is a virgin.
• Shaving the groom, bride, bride’s father and groom’s mother.
• “Paying” the vicar with the traditional marriage offering of a pomegranate, a silver chain, and an ass’s head.
• Locking the doors before the ceremony starts so no-one escapes.
• Shouting the latin phrase “oportet credere!” (“you better believe it!”) after the bride and groom say “I do.”
• Bringing the onions for the post-marriage onion ceremony.

Hope this has been of help, and good luck!
Hetty X