Andrew Kay wants a big comfy sofa that lasts more than a few months, and looks good

How I loved my bright pink sofa. I wrote about it here, it looked great, and for a while it was good to sit on. Then it died. I’m not complaining, it was a real bargain and for some time it felt like it was the flag that marked a new-found independence and a bright new future. Since then, other things have taken over making me feel good with a bright and shiny new future; Latest TV, the Brighton & Hove Food and Drink Festival, International Chef Exchange, and most of all Mr Robinson, the husband.

When we married – you can read more about that in our wedding feature, issue 596 – we bought a new sofa. It was lime green, very stylish… and a piece of rubbish. Within months the cushions had split open at the seams, then the foam started to crumble. Most recently it let out an earth shattering crack when we sat down. Well, it might not have been earth shattering, but it was like a pistol crack and made us both jump.
It wasn’t cheap either, despite buying it in a sale. It cost nearly £700 and at full price was marked at £1,300. It seemed like such a bargain but we were duped, it was all fur coat and no knickers as my mother would say.

Well I don’t want to sit on a fur coat! Knickers to me speak of foundation garments and when it comes to sitting down, a solid foundation has to be the basis of success. So why have I not taken it back you may well ask? I have not because the supposedly reputable company has gone to the wall, shut its doors and boarded its windows. Were I a bad person, I would go and stove those windows in, but it wouldn’t get me very far.

“£13.46 a week,or £6.73 a bottom, (£3.36 a buttock)”

My faith in furniture manufacturers certainly needs to be repaired. I fear that the lime green sofa is beyond that – and only 12 months old. That works out at a rather scary £13.46 a week, or £6.73 a bottom (£3.36 a buttock). I will stop there. If my knees were more pliable I would invest in a bean bag and have done with it, but for now I will have to put up with the lime green reminder that not every so called bargain turns out to be a winner.