Malone is bordering on smug
A reward chart. Another one. I think we have gone through about four since the child could recognise a star shape and lusted for Haribo. So, far, they have all ended up in the bin. Perhaps she was too young for them, perhaps getting a gold star for working out how to stand was a bit ‘Super Nanny’ (insert winky smiley face). Look, of course she didn’t get a gold star for that! Instead she received my exuberant pride as I jumped up and down in excitement, nearly knocking her back over.
It was probably at three or four she had her first reward chart – too young, really, as she couldn’t read the tasks she was earning the stars for. Don’t worry, I wasn’t asking her to add rinse aid to the dishwasher for Mummy, or sweep the floor, Cinderella style (it was things like putting her coat back on the coat hook or the lids on pens). Way too much to expect for a small child; sometimes even my coat gets thrown on the sofa.
“I’m feeling pretty clever, can Mummy have a gold star please?”
But six, it turns out, is a good age for a reward chart. The child wants sweets and magazines and now has a way to earn them! We are in week three: I read online that six daily tasks is age-appropriate, and they’re mostly things she forgets or moans about doing. Now she tells me how she has done them before I even ask! I’m feeling pretty clever, can Mummy have a gold star please?
She now puts her dishes in the kitchen after a meal and brushes her own hair without me nagging. She still forgets to do things like make her bed after she gets up (pulling the cover back is hardly difficult, is it?) but now instead of crying “but I’m tired!” at every request, she runs off to do them. Oh, the power of Haribo and cheap tat!
At the end of each day she gets a few sweets and at the end of the week we count each star as 5p. She gets extra stars for being extra good in the week and I make up the rest of the money to buy the magazine she wants.
Honestly, I’m so pleased (bordering on smug) but now I’m beginning to worry when will a Moshi Monster magazine not be enough? What have I started? Will she soon start needing bigger rewards? Hotel Chocolat pralines and vouchers for The Treatment Rooms? Will my reward system backfire to expensive bribes, where I’m the one being blackmailed? “No! I will not tidy my room unless you get me a pony!”
What if she wises up, starts refusing to wear clean clothes or brush her hair the day her Grandmother arrives, so I look like I’m a bad mother? “Sure I’ll wipe ‘help’ off my forehead and wear a dress, if the pony arrives by midday.” Oh yes, I’m smug now, but not sure how long I will be ‘winning’ for before she outwits me…
Illustration: Jake McDonald www.shakeyillustrations.blogspot.com
