Malone is trying to cope single handedly

How long will they take to heal? It’s been one week since I broke my wrist bones, and wow, what a week. I’ve had to re-wire my brain to left side thinking. Learning to use my left hand to type, text, and open bottles is not too bad. But applying make up and brushing my hair…I look like Cyndi Lauper on a shop round Aldi. I have been living in track suits. I had to buy two from a boys’ kids’ shop as these are the only things I can get on and off by myself. “You can’t get leggings on?!” my mum exclaimed, disbelieving. The next day she called and told me she had spent an hour only using one hand and she could take her trousers off just fine! I did try to explain that I get pain every time I move. Asking my child to help me zip my hoodie up resulted in us both in tears, she acted as my right hand whilst I tried to pull the zip up; “No! Hold it with all your might!” After five minutes and tears we gave up and I did the school run in a cape and no bra. I can’t put my bra on. That has been the hardest task yet.

“I look like Cyndi Lauper on a shop round Aldi”

What’s been hard this week has not been the left handedness but the one handedness. I had never really thought about how much we use our two hands for everything. Gripping with one hand and turning or twisting with the other. I can’t wait to have both hands back. I’m going to treat my right hand to a date night, (definitely not bowling, that might snap it off) cocktails and a game of pick up sticks for the physio. I miss it so. The good old days when my make up didn’t appear applied by my six-year-old. When I could butter bread without a spoon but a knife. Oh, the good old days when I could cut up my child’s food instead of having to wait for mine to be done too. Oh, the days when I could wear shoes that didn’t require two hands to pull on or off, or need lacing.

Actually yesterday I got the child to tie my trainer laces and she managed it! So proud! I would have leapt for joy if I hadn’t been lying on the floor with my arm in a sling. I was lying on the floor as seven minutes of trying to explain how to tie shoelaces hurt more than my broken bones. “Bring one bunny rabbit ear towards the other bunny rabbit ear and tuck it under the other bunny rabbit ear. No not like that. I mean…” My poor child is having to learn fast. When this six weeks is over my child will be able to tie laces, text, email, re-set the router and make a mean spag bol.

Illustration: Jake McDonald www.shakeyillustrations.blogspot.com