The Famous Three by Julie Hayward

Three topics that one is not meant to discuss in polite company and dinner parties, so I’ve been told, are the famous three (not five) and they are sex, religion and politics. I’m rarely in polite company and such is the state of my social life, I don’t think I have ever been invited to a dinner party. Sex, I can barely remember what’s involved, so therefore have nothing to contribute to a conversation about it. I’m not religious so generally have no interest in discussing it, unless someone makes an absolutely outrageous statement that gets me whipped into a frenzy – shame that doesn’t happen with sex – and I’m ashamed to admit that what I know about politics could be written on the back of a postage stamp. 

I really must start taking an active interest in all three subjects or join a convent – seriously I might as well. I only found out the other day that ‘bare back riding’ doesn’t necessarily mean  someone on a horse without a saddle! Believe me, I’ve led a sheltered life.

I’ve heard of ‘the idiot’s guide’ but is there a level down from that?

Technology and me don’t mix and I try as much as possible to avoid all electrical gadgets that are not absolutely essential to my everyday life. I don’t own a TV, DVD player, sound system (that’s showing my age, but at least I didn’t say gramophone), or any other unnecessary electrical paraphernalia. I do own an electric kettle but when the last one of those broke, I spent a month boiling water up in a saucepan, until someone took pity on me and got me a kettle as an early birthday present! But yesterday I really excelled myself with my ignorance of stuff with plugs on the end of them. I’ve been given a laptop, there are some benefits to being dsylexic at uni, and whilst I’m very grateful I’m not really sure what to do with it. I always type on a very ancient computer that’s the size of a small bathroom, so yesterday I thought I would be adventurous and give it a try, but I couldn’t even open the lid. The really embarrassing thing is I took it to work and asked a colleague, to see if she could, and I had been trying to open it the wrong end, by the hinges! Oh my gosh, I’ve heard of ‘the idiot’s guide’ but is there a level down from that?

One of my favourite places to shop in Brighton, is Infinity’s. Since I’ve been trying to reign in my unruly digestive system I’ve been visiting Infinity’s more often than usual, the staff are friendly and very knowledgable and the store has an amazing array of organic products that not only are good for me but taste delicious too and I’m having fun experimenting with seaweed salad, sprouting chocolate and buckwheat pasta, not all in the same meal I hasten to add.



Leave a Comment






Related Articles