Vanessa Austin Locke: Trashion week

So, you’ve all been waist deep in your own filth, courtesy of a chocolate snack and the unions? Takes me back to my youth. I write this looking out over fecund green fields and litter-free country lanes. They bring policemen-in-training to the tiny town I’m currently calling home, but because there’s no crime they have to hire actors to loaf about with cans of beer so the policemen have someone to arrest. Yes taxpayers, your cash is being well spent somewhere at least.

Not so down Brighton way though, eh? Where green has become the colour you turn when you breathe the air, rather than a political movement. I love green. It’s my favourite colour. But I’d rather have the Greens as a strong pressure group than a weak political party. Don’t the little darlings want to get rid of NATO or something?

Despite what my Commie brothers say I’m actually a big supporter of the welfare state. However… when the state needs as much welfare as its people then it’s time for us to serve in order to support it. The bin men (what’s the PC job title these days?) do great work and seeing these disgusting, health-hazardous streets highlights that horribly, but most people I know in the private sector, and many in the public sector, have taken large pay cuts over the last five years. I know I have. But that’s what we do if we want an NHS. Granted, money could have been saved on raising carbon emissions with the 20MPH zone, but we’ve got to give the chaps at Kings House something to do, and I can tell you that they are busy little bees.

“I was a bit sad I got a front row seat though because I’d hoped they would be packed with Green councillors”

Recently, I went along to see my old colleagues and friends at Brighton Fashion Week, held in the magnificent hall at St Barts. I got a front row seat at the Sustain Show, with Henrietta Ludgate headlining, whose career I’ve been following with interest. I was a bit sad that I got a front row seat though because I had been hoping they would be packed with Green councillors and party members, all of whom were sent personal invites. But, chatting to the PR girl afterwards, I learned that not a single one showed up. Even The Mayor was there, but so sign of support from the only Green council in the country for its city’s efforts to create an eco-friendly industry. Tsk.

But what I want to know is why folks seem to be throwing trash on top of trash? Can’t you keep it in your back garden or something for a couple of weeks? Double bag it (with bio-degradable bags of course) so the foxes don’t get in. In this little town if you walk past a loose crisp packet without picking it up and putting it in the bin, regardless of whether it’s yours, then old ladies tut at you and you’re ostracised for life. If you’re going to dump it at least take it to Worthing. Or is it a case of helping the union make their point?

But what point is that? The last five years have sucked. We’ve all had to make sacrifices of time and money to stay in the game. The toughest survive – they fight for every penny, like the unions are doing now. It’s survival of the fittest… right socialism?



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