Lynn Ruth Miller is thinking outside the fruit bowl
Dressing up
A Chinese fruit seller in Nanjing decided to dress his peaches in fancy knickers and triple the price. He labeled them ‘fancy peach butts’ and charged £48 a dozen. What a great gift idea!
What a great solution for the person on your Christmas list who has everything. Can you imagine a better present than a cute little peach decked out in lacy underwear?
A banana in a bow tie doing a soft shoe just for you …
And why stop there? Imagine awakening on Christmas morning to discover a banana in a bow tie and a top hat doing a soft shoe just for you? Think of the delight children would have when they opened up Santa’s gifts to find a pair of plums in tutus and lace bodices tucked into a chiffon lined box?
I cannot think of anything better to give your nan than a cluster of grapes laced with garlands of velvet ribbon. After all, she has received enough lace hankies to last a lifetime. She will thrill to the novelty of something she doesn’t have to tuck in a bureau drawer to give to someone else next year.
Christmas shopping would be so much easier for us all. No more beating our way through crowded malls trying to outspend each other, piling up mountains of colorful boxes filled with useless trinkets no one wants under the tree. We would not have to spend hours exploring one expensive novelty shop after another in the Lanes trying to find just the right tie, or the prettiest bauble for our loved ones. All we would need to do is run over to the green grocer and load up on produce, take it home and dress it up. On Christmas morning, the house would be filled with jolly pears in tap shoes and apples sporting feather boas. Wow!
And don’t forget the veggies! They tart up amazingly well. There is nothing as appealing as a mushroom in spats and every potato worth its butter looks better in mesh stockings with a flowered garter.
What to serve for Christmas breakfast? Problem solved. Just put all the gifts in a large bowl, add some scones, clotted cream and a bit of eggnog, and enjoy.
“One that would serve fruit, must give it a good presentation.”
– An anonymous Chinese philosopher
