Sunday, November 29

Landlady: Sunny Side Up…..

- March 5, 2018

landlady

In a mad moment, while viewing the contents of our joint bank account, Katy and I used half of it to book a holiday to Barbados. To be honest, there is no shortage of mad moments as far as our joint account is concerned, especially these days, when we no longer have to use the rent money to repair holes in the wall and other ludicrous deconstruction projects embarked upon by our lunatic past tenants in Warrior Square Hastings. We’ve owned the flat for 17 years and these days, touch wood, we have sane people living there, who seem to abide by the normal rules of human behavior. Thus, we have an excess of rent money, which we generally use to pay for things we would never, ever dream of paying for with our own money. For some reason, the shared money of Katy and I is deemed neutral and is used solely to treat ourselves, and often my kids, to champagne, cream teas and extravagant meals. If you’re ever in a luxury establishment and an irritating group of people next to you start chanting ‘Warrior Square, Warrior Square, Warrior Square!’ rather too loudly, it’s probably us.

We no longer have to use the rent money to repair holes in the wall

While booking our holiday to Barbados, we made a rather large omission in ‘forgetting’ to include our respective partners in the booking. It’s not so bad for Katy, as after more than 30 years together, her husband, when faced with a choice of sitting on a beach with Katy or looking after the cats in rain-splattered London, would choose the cats every time, mainly because the cats don’t ask him to tile bathrooms and hang pictures.

Meanwhile, only embarking on my third year of new romance, where one still has to be on one’s best behaviour, I haven’t yet had the heart to break it to The Cuban.
I might be wrong, but the thought of me being on a Caribbean island other than Cuba without him to keep an eye on me and my inadvertent twerking might just tip him over the edge. So far, in my head I’ve invented various ways of breaking it to him, none of which have a very favourable outcome.

Never mind… I’m going to Barbados!!! Altogether now, “Warrior Square, Warrior Square, Warrior Square!!”


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