Landlady: Old Phoney…


After all my talk of multi-tasking on the telephone last week, I have finally decided to upgrade my phone after 8 years of service. For the past 4 years, friends and my offspring have laughed like drains when they see my mobile, as it is falling apart and almost pre-dates the Arc.

For the past 4 years, I have been buying the same model of phone whenever I see it and replacing the buttons, backs, batteries, screens that eventually fail with bits from the new ones, thus creating a weird mutant hybrid. It seems that the phone is no longer available, thus cutting off my supply of spares. Furthermore, whenever anyone calls me,they sound like a Dalek and I can no longer cut off a call without the air of a pen-nib or pencil-tip, thus making the task of slamming the phone down during an argument virtually impossible.

The Cuban is a very competent driver but unfortunately is an even more competent complainer about driving

I have decided which model of phone I would like and will be suffering the dreadful experience of ‘town’ in order to purchase it sometime this week. It’s just as well, as on Thursday, I will be meeting one of my friends, who normally lives in Dubai, in a country hotel in Derbyshire, as we both originate from near there and have to suffer separate visits with various relatives nearby on Friday. This particular friend, although relatively new, is one of the main critics of my penchant for antique phones and thinks it’s insane that she has to message me via Skype on my Kindle. Having read back the last sentence, I tend to agree that I need to upgrade my technology.

As well as upgrading my phone, I have also decided to finally get some driving lessons and take my driving test. This is even more urgent than the telephone debacle, as The Cuban and I are setting up a business, driving tourists around Cuba and, without doing any advertising at all, have some clients who wish to travel with us in February next year. The Cuban is a very competent driver but unfortunately is an even more competent complainer about driving. Moreover, he insists upon embarking upon a journey at 6am, much to the distaste of those travelling with him, who are supposed to be on holiday. At least I’ll be able to set my alarm on the new phone…..Hopefully for 9am.

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