Malone chills by the pool
I’m sitting on a sun lounger by an empty swimming pool. Its boiling hot and I can hear birds singing in what must be a foreign tweet. Butterflies are fluttering around as the sun umbrellas move gently in the warm breeze. Am I dreaming? I’m not going to pinch myself to find out, best I just lie here and enjoy it. If I wake up so be it. I think I might be relaxed. I’m not sure what this feeling is but I don’t appear to be worrying about anything or needing to do anything, so thats weird. I must be dreaming.
Suddenly there is the sound of stomping, giggling, splashing and more giggling and a 5 year old child is calling me mummy. She looks like a mini version of me. Hang on, this is not a dream, this is real life! I am on holiday! Excellent! Oh hang on we need to put sun cream on. We don’t want to burn. Last year my boyfriend burnt really badly. I jokingly wrote a swear word in suncream on his back, it was unfortunate that even after quickly wiping it away, it was the only part of his back that didn’t burn.
“Am I dreaming? I’m not going to pinch myself to find out”
He was left with most of the word in white surrounded by sore pink skin. This year I have not written anything in sunblock, and writing ‘sorry about last year swearing on your back in sunblock’ is a stupid idea…. This year, the boyfriend is actually using suncream, (last year he said he didn’t need it) “I’m half Indian!” To be fair, he hadn’t been abroad in August in a decade, forgetting how hot the sun is. It’s only May but I am starting to worry whether we are all wearing the right SPF. How do I find out how long I can be in the sun before I burn, to work out which SPF I need?
Phew, back to normal then, I’m worrying. Worrying whether my child is still wearing her armbands, and do we have enough toilet roll in the apartment? Why is all Spanish loo roll thin like pound-shop loo roll? Does the mediterranean diet only require a 1ply loo roll? Important questions. I’d google them if I hadn’t turned my ‘data roaming ‘ off. (Was worrying about phone charges). And I’m not allowed to worry, I’m on holiday. Abroad my child is content with untoasted bread with jam on for breakfast, back in the UK she cries if she’s not presented with ‘strawberry crunch’ at 7am.
Abroad my child is happy swimming all day, back home she manages about 37 minutes before her lips go blue with cold and we must leave the leisure centre for chips. Abroad my child is content eating olives, melon and aioli, dipping pieces of bagettue in potent garlic heaven like a Michelin star reviewer. I like holidays. Hope I’m wearing the right SPF and no one has written in sunblock on my back.
