Richard Hearn: his bit goes here

One sentence to rule them all, “That bit goes there”. At first I was just pleased with Youngest™’s clear, four-word sentence. We were doing a clock puzzle, him frowning seriously at the shapes, either putting them in himself or directing me like some toddler foreman. Each time he would say the phrase, “That bit goes there.”

He’d said the phrase earlier when he’d dropped a nonsensical Lego structure and he wanted me to reassemble it. I realised that this was not just a chance phrase. This was a four word combination that could unlock any number of future careers. It was like he’d hit upon some sort of verbal Da Vinci Code.

An engineer might say “That bit goes there” when assembling a complicated machine. A chess grandmaster could whisper it to themselves when shunting the rook into a winning position. An interior designer while making their final aesthetic choices or a heart surgeon doing whatever it is they do with arteries or veins.

“He’d hit upon some sort of verbal Da Vinci Code”

It’s possible to picture almost any occupation, and if you say ‘that bit goes there’ at the correct time, with the right emphasis, and in a confident authoritative manner, it works. It may even be the ONLY phrase you need to carve out a decent C.V.
It’s a sentence that probably echoes through the ages, too.
I imagine it was used

by the inventor of the Spinning Jenny. It was probably important in the chimney sweeping fraternity. And I definitely think ‘that bit goes there’ was one of those critical instructions when building the pyramids.

I’m imagining the series of Careers For Dummies will be withdrawn from the shelves when someone reads this column, to be replaced by a single, very thin book. It would be very expensive though, because of its usefulness, and will just consist of ‘Chapter One. Say the phrase: ‘That bit goes there’. Chapter Two. Repeat where necessary.’

I’ve struggled to think of another four word sentence that could compete, but this is its nearest rival: ‘Once more with feeling’. If ‘That bit goes there’ doesn’t work, and perhaps for ballet, or playing the harp, or most of King Lear, it’s a little on the lumpen side, then go to Plan B – ‘Once more with feeling.’

I’ll have to hot-house Youngest™ on these four words as my back-up plan. There you go. Two 4-word sentences of ultimate power. If I had to find a third to tidy up any final loose ends then so be it. This final one might be used by doctors, butchers, job centre advisors, pawnbrokers and…er…magazine columnists. ‘Come back next week.’