Richard Hearn compares days out

Two quite different trips this week. One to the Natural History Museum, and one to Milton Keynes. One with kids and one without. So it’s the ideal time for compare and contrast, more about the journeys than the destinations.

Let’s start with the National Gallery by train. It’s me, The Boy and Youngest™; I know in advance that it’s ambitious, but I steel myself knowing the end result will be worth it, and head off. It’s the pushchair that causes the main problems, not the children. To start with, on a busy train, the pushchair is an advantage. Youngest™ gets his own seat. Later, the pushchair works less in our favour. It’s all about the search for slopes, the enemies that are escalators and the love of lifts, meaning that it’s not so much A to B, as A to C because you’ve got blocked off, trying E, someone else suggests F, then you eventually get to D which takes you – finally, unexpectedly – to B.

“the kindness of strangers, who play a kind of tag-helping”

There is a clue in the word ‘Underground’ that indicates we might have problems. The place name is simply stating its alternative height! It does exactly what it says on the tin! Luckily, we only have to go two stops plus we are genuinely blessed with the kindness of strangers, who play a kind of tag-helping.

The Natural History Museum is great, of course. The highlight, as always, was the blue whale – “and white, and grey” as Youngest™ points out (he’s keen on details) – but there were also the fantastic exhibits in the central hall, the dinosaurs, the dolphins you can swivel (long story) and a new section called ’Treasures’.

My other journey was Milton Keynes in a car. For reasons too lengthy to explain, I needed to make a delivery which meant a 6 hour round trip, without kids. Not the most glamorous day, but it felt like a kind of luxury. I’d get to listen to my own music without a chorus (no pun intended) of disapproval from the back. I wouldn’t have to ‘sell’ where we were going every few minutes, and there would be no need to make up car games: “Who can spot an animal?” There aren’t that many animals on the M1 – or in Milton Keynes for that matter.

I could also swear, which I was certainly tempted to do when faced with Milton Keynes’ so-called ‘centre.’ Despite the travelling being a little easier, I’d take Natural History Museum every day. Even when you are forced to make a divert (because of the pushchair) you get to travel past a whole different species. When I got diverted (because of M1 roadworks) on my Milton Keynes trip, all I saw was Hemel Hempstead.

Illustration: Paul Lewis www.pointlessrhino.com