- November 15, 2016
The acerbic wit of Daniel Sloss comes to town this week, but not before the popular Scottish comedian talked to Victoria Nangle about Irn Bru and what he wants for Christmas
Hi Daniel, how’s tricks today?
Great. Just went to the gym and now I’m relaxing before tonight’s gig in Livingston.
What are the main issues in your life, on this day where motions towards a second Scottish referendum are being put into play?
I tend to not have many issues in my life, at least not any I’m taking seriously. Those are problems for future me to deal with.
Three years ago I asked you what superpower you’d like to have, and you said the power to punch Jaden Smith in the face. Do you still have a vitriolic line of fire, and if so who is currently in your sites?
I think now that he’s older and wiser, he’d probably punch me back. And I don’t do well in fights, so I’ll revoke that. Now I’ve moved that hate onto other places and people, like Paris, and Donald Trump.
You used to write for Frankie Boyle, back years ago. Now that he’s not touring would you ever get him to write jokes for you?
I don’t think I have the skill or poise to be able to pull of Frankie’s jokes. He’s far more intelligent than I am and that’s why he’s able to get away.
I’d also use it to murder a bunch of people I don’t like
If you weren’t performing comedy, what would you be doing?
Hating every second of my life.
Going back to the original question though, what superpower would you like to have, and what kind of adventures would you have with it?
Nowadays I’d just like the ability to stop time so that I could pause time, have a nap, and then wake up and not have missed any of the day. I’d also use it to murder a bunch of people I don’t like, but mainly the sleep thing.
You have been gigging semi-regularly Stateside over the years with a respected and growing profile. Would you ever relocate there with a sitcom and a movie franchise?
Absolutely not. Have you seen whats going on over there? I love America and I love gigging there, but Scotland is my home. I never want to leave here. I’d happily go to America for a couple of months if something I liked came up, but they don’t have Irn Bru, so they lose in the long run.
If so, what would your movie franchise be about?
Who knows? But I’d make sure there was a sad ending where everyone died and nothing got resolved. There are too many unrealistic happy endings in movies, where the guy gets the girl, the girl gets the guy, the guy gets the guy, the world is fine, everything works out, kisses all round. That’s not real life, everyone dies, love is a chemical, nothing matters. I find humour in that.
This show premiered at the Edinburgh International Conference Centre and has been cited as garnering your biggest audiences to date. Do you enjoy the big crowds – would you play the O2? – as you are very good at audience connection, or do you enjoy the more intimate venues?
Absolutely never playing the O2 in my life. I have undying respect for the comedians who can play rooms like that, but that’s not what I want to do. I like intimate crowds. Even some of the bigger theatres still manage to maintain that level of intimacy, so I wouldn’t mind playing the 2,000 seaters as long as it felt comfortable still. Also, my comedy absolutely does not have the market to sell out the O2. Not enough people in Britain want to hear about drugs, why love is dead and death.
What are you going to do when you visit Brighton to play here?
I have a bunch of friends that live down there so probably going out after the show and getting completely, but respectfully, drunk.
What do you want for Christmas?
A table football table.
Daniel Sloss: So? With special guest Kai Humphries, Komedia, Sunday 20 November 2016, 8pm, £14.50/12