- February 19, 2018
It’s 2018 and the modern world changes fast. When you think about the advances made in the last century compared to those made in the 1,900 years before it is remarkable – and yet in many ways we still live in the dark ages. We have technology that astonishes, arts that challenge and politics that sometimes terrifies and occasionally fills the heart with a little hope. But when it comes to human relationships we are as hopeless today as we have ever been.
Equality in the LGBTQI world has moved on, things are better, not perfect, but better. We managed to defeat the evil Clause 28 in all its terrible forms, we managed to finally get gay marriage, as opposed to civil partnerships, that flawed half way house that was as unequal as ever if looked at with a seeing mind. And there is certainly no room for complacency, whilst we have it “good”, the rest of the world is still riddled with vile and violent homophobia.
But one area that we still have far to go with and that remains in the Dark Ages is the scarily hopeless way we deal with sex education.
How do we find out about the finer details of sex?
Sex education is not really about sex but in truth rather more about procreation. Whilst it is important that we teach that element of the life cycle, it rather neglects the fact that sex is a source of great pleasure and excitement and in relationships often bond-forming. But where do we learn about that?
It’s all well and good to know the mechanics, but if we had all stuck to the mechanics life would be a much much duller place.
Of course most of us would have been terrified at the idea that mum or dad would go any further than explaining the mechanics, because we nearly all find the act of sex taboo and embarrassing, something private and personal.
So how do we find out about the finer details of sex? We learn it from others, often older others and we learn it from erotic art. The history of art is littered with erotica, some of it rather explicit and for centuries much of it locked away. So where else? Well it has to be pornography. Porn, where the camera invades the most private of moments, well perhaps not always private, but that’s another story. Of course pornography can be demeaning, can be exploitative and destructive, but for many of us, porn was the text book from which we leaned about sex and not always in a food way. Maybe there is a better way, but is anyone brave enough to do that? Only a few.